Men Like to Emotionally Distance Themselves From Me
Question Posted Wednesday January 19 2011, 2:01 pm
How do I stop men from emotionally withdrawing themselves from me? So I'm a 19 year old girl who has a problem with men emotionally withdrawing themselves from me.
I'm a relatively mature 19 year old, who usually gets along with people a few years older than me better than people my own age.
I have been through this with my two ex boyfriends, who are 24 and 26 year old men. At first the guy is extremely interested in me, he wants to see me all the time and he can't get enough of me, he falls for me sometimes even getting to the point of being in ove with me, then he decides to emotionally withdraw himself from me.
Then they'll me that they want to be friends with me, and that's all that they want. So when I trying talking to them about anything they either act extremely distant with me, or start arguing with me.
I don't know if it's because of the kind of guys that I like to date, in the past both of my ex boyfriends were single for awhile before dating me. The 24 year old, let's call him C, was my ideal man and at first he wanted to do whatever he could to make me happy, because I made him happy but he was single for two almost three years before dating me, which I found hard to believe. Then the 26 year old, let's call him S, was my first love and the guy that I lost my virginity to, he was single for a year and a half.
Both emotionally distanced themselves for me for different reasons, C told me that he really liked me but he felt like I wasn't being myself the week before. Then he broke up with me a week later, because I thought that everything was fine and I told him that I missed him, he said that I was getting too emotionally attached to him, we didn't date for long only for almost two months. I should have been able to tell that he was emotionally distancing himself from me, because when we would talk he would talk to me for five minutes and then say that he had to go. When I asked him why he emotionally distanced himself from me, he said that he didn't like how things were going.
And then S emotionally distanced himself from me because we had a pregnancy scare, and he was ashamed of how he reacted during it, telling me that I had to get an abortion which he knew I really was against.
Any ideas as to why they could be emotionally distancing themselves from me? And how I could resolve this issue?
Additional info, added Wednesday January 19 2011, 2:04 pm: I'm not exactly into dating right now, but I really do want to make a relationship last. I don't think that I can make a relationship last and be healthy, when I'm the only one whose putting any effort into it.. Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? dearcandore answered Wednesday January 19 2011, 9:33 pm: It sounds like you move too fast too soon, and you may be scaring guys off. You need to learn how to slow it down, so a real relationship can develop, and they can get to know you at a sustainable pace. The easiest way to keep things slow is to stay away from sex until you are in a committed, loving relationship - and that usually takes a while, not days or weeks. When you offer too much of yourself too soon, it sends a subtle message to the men that there is nothing left to learn about you. [ dearcandore's advice column | Ask dearcandore A Question ]
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