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how to deal with verbal abuse?
22/f
i need advice. i've been with my boyfriend for about 7 years now and hes great and we're really in love and we have plans to marry eventually. the problem is when he gets angry or upset even if its a stupid fight that could have been over with one word, he gets too angry and just opens this whole portal of really hurtful words. i know he doesnt mean it cuz hes angry but at the point it really hurts and it makes want to leave him which i dont want to at all. so how can i get him to stop being mean when hes angry? thanks.
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Telling him how you feel is only going to let him know how you feel it will not change a thing. I think you should ask him if he would be interested in anger managment classes and that you feel it would help your relationship alot when you do fight. he will learn to walk away when you fight to control his anger to think about the situation and come back with a differen attitude and be able to talk it out.
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I think you need to sit him down and tell him how
you feel he won't know unless you speak up make him realize what he's saying is hurting you tell
him you'd like for him to stop and when he gets angry it makes you want to leave him maybe once he realizes he could loose you if he doesn't change his ways he'll stop make him realize his mistakes seeing as he probably doesn't realize them himself since his anger gets in the way you could try suggesting for him to go to therapy that way he'll be able to talk things out and he'll be able to communicate better instead of lashing out at you or anyone elese right now there's room for change and improvement with him if i were you i'd give him a chance he deserves at least one to see if he changes and if he doesn't then i'd leave him you
don't deserve to have those hurtful things being
said to you also you deserve to be treated better
then that he isn't worth your time :)
Your not alone i get verbally abused by my parents
and i also get hurtful things said to me....
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You should defintely leave him if he doesn't know how to control his anger. He could go see a therapist and sign up for counseling. What you should do in the meantime is say "ok look I know your angry right now but I'm gonna leave you alone so you can calm down and control your anger and not take it all out on me. I'll be here if you want to talk about it." you can wait like an hour for him to calm down, or until he's ready to talk to you.
That should solve your problem! :D
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The very best thing for you is pre-marital counselling.
Pre-martial counselling is a GREAT idea, even if your relationship seems perfect. If money is an issue, ask someone in your life to help for it as a gift. It gives you a safe place to talk together about your fears and concerns, and to tackle some of the big questions that are hard to bring up. You can talk about what your visions are for the future, how you handle money, and really importantly: How you agree to handle fighting and disagreeing.
You might not stop him all togeather, but it will give you both a plan for how to deal with these disagreements.
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here's the thing with that you can't make him stop. in other words you can't control what he does. you can talk to him and tell him how you feel, when he says those things, but if it doesn't stop then you need to leave him, because he has no respect for you or himself probably. i hope i helped.
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