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This guy I have liked for over a year now
16/f
I have liked my friend for over a year now. Almost two years. We're really close...or we were. He's 18 though. I've known him since I was a freshman and he was a junior. I'm a junior now and he's in college. He left to go to college like last week.
In September we told each other we liked each other and all that. We wouldn't go out because he was gonna leave and all that. We would talk all the time and then it went on to the sweet stuff like he cares about me and could picture marrying me, ect. So before we even told each other how we felt I was crazy about him. I had a boyfriend and I still couldn't get over him. So pretty much, I liked the guy so much. I don't want to say love because I'm never too sure but he's the guy I've felt most for.
Well one night we ended up making out.
We were cool after that. I found out he also liked another girl but that didn't really bother me too much because he knew I liked someone else also. I thought about it a lot though because I liked him so much and he started texting her like he texted me.
Well then it started going back to normal again with us. We'd talk on the phone all night and text but he told me he liked me but only as a close friend. I was confused but I went with it.
He eventually would bring up sex and stuff. He knows I don't want it. He always knew about my problems with guys because I told him about what guys have done and all that. Anyway, he would eventually start texting dirty to me and stuff. Then it went back to I like you. Actually he was telling me he loved me and wished he was with me and that I was older. Not like that whole in love kinda thing. He said not like a girlfriend but he did love me and care about me.
Ok so I never understood how he felt. I just assumed he did like me but was confused, just didn't like me too much or maybe he was just messing with me. All I know is that he does not like me as much as I like him. I never told him how much I liked him though. You know, don't wanna weird him out.
Well I didn't talk to him all this week because he left. But he texted me last night and we were talking and stuff. It seemed totally fine and it was really sweet. We texted from like 9pm to 5am. Except I had fallen asleep on him but he texted me before class and after.
He texted me today around 5pm and we texted for a couple hours. It was all about sex this time. Well then later he texted me around 9 and it was the same. Some of it was nice and stuff but then it was like what he wanted to do with me and all that.
Then he called me so we talked on the phone for about half an hour. He tried starting with all that again but when he started like asking questions, most of my answers were, "I don't know" or "maybe". He told me he loved me though and I was like, "mhmm sure I believe it." Then he started going on about my trust issues. He was going on about I didn't trust me two last boyfriends. I mean I think I have reasons not to. One almost raped me and the other cheated. So he went on about how annoying it was when all I said was "I don't know" and "maybe".
Well then he called me a tease. Jokingly, he's brought it up before. He says I am because I only let him make out with me and only have a taste of me and not the whole thing. Anyway, he called me a jerk. I don't know why and he started talking about how he was a player. I agreed but then he was like, "Yeah I break your heart?" I said, "mhmm" I was kinda crying when he was saying this stuff. He couldn't hear it though, thank God. But he was talking about how I'm one of the few girls he's been talking to, ect. He told me I was the 2nd girl he's ever made out with though. I already knew that but still. This stuff kinda hurt because he kept saying he wanted to ask me out when he got back in May. I was like, "Yeah..because that would soo work. Only like 3 months together." He said, "Yeah but you're graduating." I said, "Yeah, in like a year." He asked if I liked him and I said, "Idk" and if I wanted to talk to him. So eventually I got off the phone and he said, "Good night. I love you" Then I just said bye.
All those things he was saying. I don't understand and he's being confusing. I don't even know if he cares or if he just wants sex out of me.
So he texted me after that saying, "I'm so done with you." I said, "I don't even know wth I did" He said, "Your so ugghh anyway, I'm done talking to you." I said, "All you want is sex and I actually kinda liked you. But do whatever you want." He said, "Yeah I know all I want is sex its so wrong so I will get it right." I said, "Just don't do that to me again." He said, "Do what?" I said, "Make me that upset." Then he sent this long message saying, "I'm sorry this is 100% my fault. I feel so ashamed about what I have done with you and to you and all those bad things I said. I'm asking God and you to forgive me and I will never do this to you again. I am sorry I hope I didn't hurt you."
So this was really long and I'm sorry but I am so confused and hurt. I might be kinda pathetic for crying for so long but yeah. I still like him so much but what should I do? I don't want to lose him but I'm afraid he really didn't care about me like that. Thank you sooo much
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its obvious that his hormones are raging. he wants sex. & he'll continue being moody like that until he has convinced yu into doing it. 1) he's trying to make yu feel guilty like yu did something wrong; in other words,convincing yu to feel as if yu owe him or need to try to make it up to him someway. 2) he's also trying to make yu feel SORRY for him; in other words, convincing yu to make him feel better somehow. 3) he's being sweet; as if to reel yu in so he can have a higher chance of hitting home run. in all.... he's trying everything possible to get in yur pants. dont, under any circumstance, let him because it'll be worse than how yu feel now. he's a college freshman... of course he's looking for a little fun. but dont waste yur time. he's not worth it.
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wow.. yes that was long and confusing to me too..lol... but the obvious and simple answer is that hes really not worth it. you might think 18 is old but trust me its not, hes just a teenager and hes not thinking with his mind hes thinking with something else..loll... hormones and stuff. so you shouldnt be pressured into having sex. hes not the last guy you'll ever like or love. and you said you had problems with boys maybe thats what you should be focusing on right now. forget about him and focus on you and how you tend to choose the wrong type of guys, your confused and your young you need to understand and find your self first. you need to be more confident and have more self esteem. the guy you've been writing all this about is obviously just a child... you know scientifically speaking girls mature faster than guys, hes not mature yet, he does not even know what he wants yet. so cut him out of your life a have a fresh start thats what i would do. change is good in your case. make over your life be a better person with better choices. and be single for awhile you need to spend time with yourself not with some one that confuses you and makes you feel bad.
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