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My Mom Took My Cell Phone
f/13
My Aunt got me a cell phone for Christmas & my mom was ticked so she took MY phone & locked it her closet. She said i'd be able to use in June when I go to Europe. She sid we'd talk about me earning my phone for doing chores without complaint (I complain about them) when she got back from her trip. Well she got back today & she said & I quote:"your not going to use this phone until your trip & your aunt shouldn't have given you any ideas." well it ticked me off because she promised me that we talked about it. How do I confront her about it?
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I'm old enough to be your grandfather so I'm going to offer some grandfatherly advice.
First: You live in you moms house so mom makes the rules; that is just a fact of life. Second your Aunt was wrong to gift to you something your mother may not have wanted you to have, that is another fact of life. Third: Who would be paying for cell phone service? You are obviously to young to get a job and maybe to young to do much baby sitting. So that leaves mom to foot the bill. Has it occurred to you that mom may not be being mean; that having a cell phone bill may just be beyond her ability to afford right know.
Every problem, every situation that confronts you as you go through life will have more than one side. Your ability to see all sides of a problem or situation will help you to be a great solver of problems, something you will find of immense value later in life.
As I see it mom not wanting you to have a cell phone may have more than one side to the reason. She may think you are not responsible enough, not mature enough and the biggest one is she cannot afford to pay for it at this time. Your job is to figure out which if not all of these reasons is what mom is thinking and provide solutions to them. Then ask mom if you and she can discuss this in a calm manner to see if you can provide an acceptable solution to her reasons for saying no.
Whatever your moms' reasons are one fact remains crystal clear and unchangeable: You live in her house and you must abide by her rules. If you want to change a rule you need to have good reason for doing so backed up by more than well Ann has one or Ann's' parents told her it was okay.
Whenever I used that type of reason my mom replied; "does that mean if Billy jumps off the bridge you have to too". I'm certain many moms still use that reasoning today.
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She's your mom. She gets to decide if you get a cell phone or not.
It was inappropriate for your aunt to purchase one for you against your mother's wishes. That was really rude of your aunt actually.
I get why you are upset, but it sounds like your mother decided that there wasn't anything to talk about, and she didn't want to get your hopes up by having a discussion about the phone when she had already decided that you weren't going to get it until your trip to Europe. Wouldn’t it be cruel of her to say “Well you have earn it by not complaining!” while all the time already knowing that it didn’t matter how well you behaved, you weren’t gonna get it until June?!
You can certainly tell her, calmly and respectfully, that you are frustrated that you didn't actually get a chance to talk about the issue with her and the possibility of earning the phone. That's fair. But you also have to recognize that she is perfectly within her rights as your mom to not let you have a cell phone. No amount of confronting, or discussing or earning it, will necessarily change her mind.
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Honestly, she didn't give you the phone so you shouldn't have to do chores for her. She obviously thinks that you are not ready for a phone so you should prove to her that you are. Show her that you deserve the phone and if anything just sit down with her and tell her how you really feel about the situation and if she doesn't listen well then shes not a very good mom.
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