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Getting him back - PLEASE HELP
My ex boyfriend and I broke up 2 weeks ago. He says he still loves me, he still kisses me, holds my hand, and everything. He says he doesn't want to be with anyone in a relationship at all, but he's doing it now. He wants me to do what's best for me, he wants me to move on and see someone else since his focus is school at the moment. He says he'll be interested in other girls, but not fall in love because he'll get distracted in school. He says even if he did get married, he'll probably love me for the rest of his life. Since I was his first love and first... Everything.
I don't want to pressure him into getting into a relationship with me when he's not ready. He just thinks that he's never going to be ready for a relationship, that's why he wants me to move on. He's someone that's very trustworthy, and he wouldn't lie to me. It took him a while to tell me that he didn't want me to wait because he knew it would hurt me a lot. He said it was hard to even stand in front of me, and if I asked if he loved me, he couldn't say "no" because he did.
I noticed that there are some things that I did in the past, before I even knew him and some other things such as I would have a New Year's kiss, he got upset about. But he said he didn't have the right to say anything since we weren't together anymore.
He didn't want to do anything that'll get my hopes up, but he said I could do whatever I want until I'm ready to be friends again. Why don't I want to move on? I love him too much. I originally just move on and forget about the person, but... He's different. I don't want to crush hope with my bare hands. I don't want to give up.
My sister knows that he still loves me, just seeing him the way he would act towards me. She thinks that he just needs time to get everything sorted out since he keeps going back and forth. She says just don't get him angry or stress him out since he's stressed out enough about school, and work, since he's trying to save up money for a car and an apartment. So I tried helping him as much as I can, help him clean his house, wash dishes, make dinner... Stuff like that. That I never did before until now. Maybe if I keep doing it, he'll fall back in love? I'm not sure.
What should I do?! I don't want to give up. But I am scared he might lose his feelings for me completely. It's getting hard for me knowing we're not together. I'm just confused. I want to stay and keep myself distracted because I love him so much and I want him to come back when he's ready. Do you even think he will come back? He says he honestly thinks he won't, but things don't go as planned... Please help me. I'm terribly confused. I need more than one advice/opinion!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
He doesn't want to be in a relationship and you do. Rule 1 when it comes to dating, you shouldn't be with someone who isn't at the same level of commitment as you.
I know how hard it is to want to be with someone so unbelievably much, but knowing you really cannot. The hand holding and affection is only post-poning the complete breakup. Don't cling to the hope of staying together. Whatever happens will happen, and maybe in the future when he is ready you two will get back together, but it's not healthy right now to be so close to him.
As hard as it is to believe, life does go on and you will move on. It seems impossible right now to imagine life without him, and even to imagine him not loving you is heartbreaking, but I promise this feeling goes away in time.
You need to just leave him be. Give him some space to relax and organize his life. Being there with him at all right now is confusing the both of you and isn't solving anything.
I know it's hard, but you'll be okay.
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Things are always hard after a break up, and they usually suck..a lot but, heres the thing if you care enough then you guys need space because usually after a break up, you don't act as if you're still going out...It doesn't work like that. You should show him that hey yeah i still like you a lot but, I'm willing to give you the time and support you need. Not only that but, you need to accept the possibility of moving on with or without him. I hope this helps.
good luck!
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