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friends with benefits - confused
so I've had this friend, we met 4 years ago. I'm 24 now.. Started out as just friends (best friends) I was dating his friend... I tried a few times to leave my boyfriend, as the situation was bad, but couldn't. I ended up cheating on him with my friend. More than a few times. We had a 6 month thing going on behind my boyfriends back (please don't judge without knowing backgroud) well, he got into some trouble annd went to jail and then moved 3 hours away. I completely blocked him out of my life. A year later he messaged me and all those feelings came back. We spent 2 weeks together. I told him I could never be with him because I know the way he is (he's a womanizer) and he lashed back at me and said he couldnnnt ever be with me because of the way I am. He started dating this girl and told me he ciuldnt sleep with me anymore because he was going to be "faithful" just to proove a point. So I said screw it and stopped talking to him, even changed my phone number. He tried to contact me via myspace but I deleted my myspace shortly after. We didn't talk tor 2 years, and I called him 6 months ago, just to see how he had been... I was curious. We always had this connection as friends it was insane. Well we only talked a few times and left it at that. In the past two months he called me and was very persistant about seeing me. I told him at first it would not bea good idea, but finally gave in. I found out he has a girlfriend and we've slept tgether and fooled around in the past few months. He even sat on the phone with his girlfriend (knowing I was with him) and talked all mushy... they've been dating for 8 months now. He also said he is moving here, and moving his girlfriend here too... I really miss him, even just as friends, but he wants his cake and eat it too... I feel like I'm falling for him everytime I see him and I have to stop myself. I've obviously wanted to keep our friendship, trying to keep in contact forall theseyears.. but I don't know what he's thinking.
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Honestly, you need to stop asking what he is thinking.
Jus pay a bit more attention to what you know.
You know that he disrespected and betrayed both you and his girlfriend with his behavoir towards you both. You know he had sex with you behind her back.
You know that you can't be with him because of this completely unacceptable behavoir and you firmly suspect that you cannot be his friend without slipping into sleping with him. You've got good evidence of this being true.
If you can't be his friend, and not fool around with him, then you can't be his friend.
I don't think either of you are capable of being friends right now without crossing that line. Do you think you are capable of that? Do you think he is?
If you answered no to either of those questions, than as much as you might still care from him and miss him, the only respectful and fair thing to do is end the friendship.
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This is really dramatic. I think you should just cut loose with him. He has a girlfriend. Do you really want to be his rebound or whatever? I would go out searching for someone else. This is really dramatic situation. It seems like he won't leave you alone and that makes it really hard for you to get your feelings over him for good. But my advice is if you want him in your life why don't you just say hi once a month. Keep very little contact with him. And if one day you have a boyfriend you really love...he could mess it up. Just be distant with this guy he really needs to get out of your life for good. He's fooling around with your emotions. That's not what love is all about.
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