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how to tell a girl to stop calling my boyfriend PLEASE HELP im sorryitslong
hi, i have a bf who while we were broken up met this girl, he first lied about how he met her (i saw her on her contacts and he said she was an old friend ) then weeks later when we were kinda getting back together he told me the truth (supposely) he said that he met her at a train station when he had no money for the ticket and she offered nicely to pay so they chatter a little she "found him" on facebook and added him there, on blackberry messenger and on skype (which is rare cause he doesnt have any of this information on his profile so theres no possible way that she would do this without him giving the number and usernames since on facebook he doesnt even has a picture of himself and he has a very common name ) so i was thinking maybe HE added her and they exchanged numbers which is more liley what happened since tbh he is not a skype user either other than talking to me thats all he uses it for so its strange someone added him on there ...anyway ..he said he has stopped talking to her (apparently deleted her from facebook which i have no way to prove cause he has his friends hidden and IM NOT even one his friends there anymore )i deleted him from facebook cause he was extremly jealous i figured that would be better so i cannot add him back and if i did i wouldnt see much cause no one can post on his wall he only gets messages by inbox and his friend list is hidden..
he said he had deleted her off blackberry messenger and skype, BUT the girl keeps sending messages like
"i hope you're ok i dont know why you stopped contacting me i dont know why that day really affected me " (which im wondering ,,,did they go out ?? did they slept together/kissed or whatever more than just chatting at the train station?) he said nothing more happened than they speaking on facebook for like 2 days after meeting then when she started saying she liked his smile etc and flirting he stopped contacting her
shes been callling him NONSTOP and texting him, messages on facebook and everywhere else he wont take her calls or reply to his messages but shes still sending messages like
one day he shared his skype screen and a message from her came up saying "i hope you had fun today :)" (not even a hello or whatever...he said it was kinda like "i hope you have a good day " but to me sounded like as if they were out together and shes saying like i hope you had fun after them hanging out ) he denies it but its all very suspiscious like
"i hope you're ok etc etc i dont understand why u stopped talking to me "
1- why would a girl keep messaging a guy who she only spoke for like 3 days
2-why would she be insisting so much after he hasnt taken her calls? (seriously why cant she think like maybe he doesnt wanna talk to me or whatever)
ANYWAY im so tired of it and i cannot move on cause i wanna be with him but i dont feel safe having her trying to contact him so desperatley, i know he thought she was hot etc so i dont want him getting tempted so ive added her and im thinking about asking her NICELY to stop emssaging him but i want it to look in a way so she wont message him saying like your gf contacted me etc or something, asking him to tell her to stop trying to comunicate isnt an option he says just to drop the issue and move on and i cant so WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS? i was planning on telling her something like (not to offend her of course cause this is as much his fault not only hers she might not even know he has a gf )
hello im sorry that ive added you i really havent ever done this and i dont wanna come out rude or anything, but i'd like you to be honest with me about something..
can you tell me what really happened between you and (bf's name without saying my boyfriend )? because i can't understand why you would be insisting so much in contacting him..
if she doesn't wanna tell me then i don't know what would i do
then just say something like : i really don't wanna be rude or anything cause more likely you didn't knew he had something going on so im gonna just ask you in the nicest way as possible if you could stop trying to contact him?
(then hopefully she won't answer agressively or deffensive ...) I KNOW you probably will say just trust him but tthis is not as easy as that since i wont rest my mind until i really know what happened and i REALLY DIDNT wanted to ask her to stop messaging him but shes been calling almost every day for like a month and texting and he hasnt taken her calls
just please tell me your opinion and im sorry this is way too long
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out of fairness to your boyfriend he tried his best to be honest before you got back together properly right? well i reckon this girl is a bit cuckoo! your boyfriend stupidly gave out too much of his information and then after 2days of chatting realized she was an absolute stalker! iv seen it before, now he's freaked out and thats why he kinda came clean about how they really met, he was stupid and now this mad thing has his number,karma is a bitch! tell him to change his number, dont contact her because then you will have to change your own number too.
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I understand completely why you do not trust your 'boyfriend', something is fishy if he lied to you about her in the first place. It would be stupid of you to just 'drop the situation', because something had to of happen.. I mean, like you said why would she have all his information, and why the hell would she keep contacting him? I think you trying to get to the bottom of the situation would be pointless. To me, dropping him would be your best option whether you wanna be with him or not.. If he wanted to be with you, he would of been honest with you. Either the girl wants to get a rise out of you, or she just doesn't even know he has a girlfriend. You're better off without him. Hope you take my advice.
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Don't message her, This is your boyfriend it is him that she is trying to contact. Let your boyfriend handle it. If your boyfriend is truly trying to "avoid" this girl then he needs to take the next step and be firm with her.
Another thing, Everything you said here I'm taking a wild guess that you don't fully trust your boyfriend? To tell you the truth, It does sound like your boyfriend gave her a bit of information to contact him. How else did she get his number?...I find it kind of creepy that she would just "Find him" on his facebook? Sounds like they chatted up one hell of a conversation. For you to message her is only going to make matters worse even if you approach it the nice way. Wouldn't your facebook status be in a relationship...? Sounds like she is looking for a problem, You contacting her is only going to provoke it and give her what she wants. Let alone, If she doesn't tell you what you want to hear in the end it is going to cause conflict between you and your boyfriend. Facebook has privacy options and those privacy options come with a block list. Your boyfriend needs to block her and leave her on the block list, Either that or change the privacy settings. If your boyfriend is not willing to reason with you then you've got your answer move on. Your boyfriend sounds like a full blown liar anyway
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