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Smoking: Can a Non-Smoker and a Smoker Have a Happy Marriage?
Me and my boyfriend were raised very differently. No one in my family smokes, and Ive never wanted or needed to and in the event it would simply not be allowed. My boyfriend's whole family, parents, stepparents, siblings etc all smoke, and he used to smoke himself a few years ago. He still had the occational social cigarretes, but after we've been dating for a while I told him that I dont want him to smoke at all. We have now been together for 2 years and even though he smokes every now and then 'because he cant help it', he is mostly off of smoking because he said he'll try not to. The only problem is that he really wants to smoke. He says he loves it and to his friends it seems ridiculous that I dont let him to do what he wants... I wish I could tell him that Im totally fine with it and he can smoke whenever he wants, but I cant get myself to feel like its okay. I really want him to take care of himself, many of his family members have had cancer and its possible that he is susceptible to it. I hate the smoking lifestyle, I hate how dependent people can be on something that damages themselves, I hate how much money they 'need' to spend on it (and he always complains that he is broke), I hate the smell... etc. And we talk about getting married, but I dont want a smoker's home for myself one day. Do you think this means that we cant have a future together, or must I suck it up??
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you dont have to suck it up but you can make rules. no smoking in the car no smoking in the house. if you have kids no smoking around them type of thing you really love this man yes you can work it out. you just have to both respect the rules.
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Well, straight to the point, the relationship could work. But smoking is not healthy.
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I am in a very similar situation, and I think you have the right to tell him you don't want him to smoke. You shouldn't have to suck it up if you care about him, who wants to watch someone they love kill themselves? If his friends don't agree, then they aren't real friends. That's a big step that he decided to cut down on smoking, but a few cigarettes now and then is still not going to cut it. One thing he could do is use an electronic cigarette, my boyfriend has one and he hasn't smoked a real cigarette since. It will satisfy his craving yet not posing any real risk to his health. They are a bit expensive (about $80), but you could help him get one for maybe his birthday or Christmas. It is definitely possible to get married to a smoker, because you can help him quit. Keep encouraging him and you guys will be fine. Good luck!
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That's kida ironic because I smoke and the bad part is I hide it from my wife because she doesn't want me to smoke either .I whear cologne a lot to cover up the smell .chew gum . Brush my teeth a lot and use mouthwash too .all this just to hde it from my wife .I don't like that I do this but you see I smoke because of stress working two jobs .without it I would be in big trouble maybe even jobless because I let people get to me a lot .but what I'm getting at .is ths if you tell him not to smoke he's more than likely going to do t behinde your back like I do to my wife and belive me I'm asamed of myself for doing this .if a person is going to quit smoking he or she has to do t because they want too not because someone eles does . Iv tried to quit several tmes and ts also a bad habit and can be very expencive also .I sugest you talk to him and ask him to at least cut down .and if he does that then he might quit all together but it won't be overnight its a gradual thing .the ciggeret patches do help control the erge also but the downfall to that is it could also be expencve .you can't make him qut but be suportive when he decides too.
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