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how do i know if i can have children or not?
i've been wanting to be a mother since i was a baby, myself. i've never intentionally tried to get pregnant, but i have had unprotected sex but i've never gotten pregnant. how do i know if i'm able to have children? and if i find out i'm not able to, how do i cope with that knowledge?
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Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
Talk with your doctor about it.
If you have been trying to conceive for one full year and haven't been successful yet then you will be thrown into the infertile category. From there the doctor can evaluate your body and look for things that may be damaged or experiencing problems.
There are lots of things that cause infertility, including poor health and drug use. If you've ever had any form of STD then you may even have your fallopian tubes damaged or impacted to where they are blocked and won't allow the egg to travel down. You could have scar tissue in your uterus from periods that came too close together and too long, fibroids that have grown in the uterus, cysts on the ovaries that are preventing proper ovulation, etc. If you've ever taken the morning after pill, birth control pills, or had any sort of medical procedure on your reproductive parts then things may be having trouble getting back to normal.
To find out if you are actually ovulating you can purchase over the counter ovulation predictor kits from various stores and pharmacies. You should take them for a full 6 months (which kind of turns out to be pricey but very worth it) so that you know how frequently you ovulate and when that is. It will help you conceive or help you figure out that you are: ovulating on time, too frequently, less than the normal amount, never ovulating, ovulating too late, etc.
If you are leading an unhealthy lifestyle, eating poor, engaging in harmful activities such as smoking or drinking, or are under a lot of stress then now is the time to make those proper changes. While you are young your body does have a chance to heal and repair. As you grow older things are more likely to remain stagnant and dysfunctional. The longer you lead an unhealthy lifestyle, the more odds the damage won't be reversible.
So, talk with you doctor. Pick up some home ovulation tests. Track your menstrual cycles and ovulation cycles as per the tests. Change your lifestyle if needed. Try not to worry too much.
Your doctor may be able to offer other methods to help you conceive in the future if you are found to be infertile and they can figure out what the root cause is. For example, if you rarely ovulate they can prescribe a pill that can help your body to do what it should be doing each month and release an egg.
Lastly, all hope is never lost. I've read multiple stories about women who have tried to make babies for 10 years or more and were never successful. They gave up and just coped with the fact that they were infertile. Some 10+ years down the line they miss a period and wind up pregnant. Miracles happen and you should always look at the bright side and hope for the best.
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Part of your question is hard to answer so I will answer the easy part first. To find out if you can have children of your own you need to visit a Gynecologist and explain your concerns to the doctor. Once the doctor has completed an examination and any testing needed any question as to whether or not conception on your part is possible can be answered.
The hard question is:if you cannot have children how do you cope? This is not an easy question for a stranger to answer as everyone has different coping mechanisms. If you are not currently married then the first thing you must come to terms with is the knowledge that you need to tell your future husband that you cannot have children and the reason you cannot. Then together you can decide if the two of you wish to adopt or if surrogacy may be an option.
There is also the possibility that you are not sterile but cannot conceive naturally. You then have the option of artificial insemination. Not the most romantic way to conceive but the desired outcome can be achieved.
Should you be sterile and not wish to adopt coping with this can be a problem to big for you to handle by yourself. A good therapist can give you the support you need to help you through the realization that this is one dream that will not happen. Having been disabled in a car accident myself I can attest to the help of a good therapist who helped me through the realization that I was no longer physically able to do things I loved doing and helped me channel my desires to things I could do. There may also be support groups you can join to help you cope. A good therapist will know of these groups in your area.
The problem of coping is so individual that it is hard to give specifics. Right know lets think positive and say you have been lucky with unprotected sex. Go see the doctor and get the facts. Once you have the facts then you can sit down and plan for the future and find what coping mechanisms you may or may not need.
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