|
who's wrong? me or him?
17/F
saturday my bf and i made plans to go out but my phone was out of minutes and i was stuck at home painting the walls. when i finaly turned my phome back on i called him, talked, and we rearanged plans. our new plan was for me to go home with him and his family, relax and eat there then go to the movies, we agreed i asked my mom and he did the same.
my mom said i was ok with her if i could clean up the livingroom, den and kitchen (with us painting the house those 3 rooms were messy) so i stayed up all night cleaning up. when i finally tried to go to sleep my alarm went off for me to go to church. during service i fell asleep (which is not like me) aand he woke me up, but i was only sleep for like 1min.
after church i went home with him and his family when we got to his house his mom started cooking and i started to fall asleep, untill he asked me to come out side and have some "us" time so i did after talking and picking up his aunt we went in his room to iron our clothes (and nothing else, the door was open) after i ironed my clothes and he did the same. i layed on the bed and started to fall asleep again untill he woke me up asking "are you ready to go?" my reply "when ever you are." so we got dressed and left.
we went out to eat and i paid (because every other week i pay and every other week he pays, it works for us) and instead of going to the movies we went to the store to waist time. when we were at his house, and i was going to sleep he told me what was on his mind. he wanted to "go some where with no interruptions just the 2 of us and have sex"... my reply was "i'm tired." well after we left the store we didn't know where else to go so he said "lets go somewhere quiet and just talk" so i said "ok"
we went down this dark road and finaly he pulled over in the middle of no-where. so we sat ther eno one said anything it was just an oquward... so i asked "whats on your mind?" and he said "its just me, you, and the earth. your voice and mines, no interruptions. i don't see why we're not having sex." i told him " my mind set is different form yours right now." so after an arguement and some quietness, i said "hey if you want, you can take me home." after 30min he took me home. so yesterday i texed him "hi" but he never texed back (i guess he was still mad) so now its another day and i haven't texed him and he hasn't texed me. i'm starting to say its over but b4 i do that, i wanna know, am i wrong? is he wrong? was i leading him on or something? i don't get it..
if i did something wrong, let me know i acept my faults. if he's wrong i believe in forgiving. i just need to know before i do something i'll regret. can u help me? please. (sorry for the misspelled words, i was rushing)
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You know your not wrong at all...in what part do you think your wrong huh??? no, girl and he is not texting you cause he wants to make you feel bad which is obviously working dont let him do this to you all lhe is doing is being selfish cause he saw that you were tired and didnt bother telling oh well ill just take you home we will continue our date another day nope al he thought about was sex and what was oon his mind...and you shouldnt assume its over first confirm it and make sure what if something happened and was not able to respond??? you never know..hope I helped and keep your head up with a smile.. :)
]
You were not wrong at all. He is being selfish. You worked extra hard to clean your house, and stayed up all night to see some one who got angry with you because you were too sleepy to have sex with him. Sex is supposed to be about two people coming together out of love. A good boyfriend would have said okay baby, maybe another time, and thanked you for working so hard to come see him. If this guy really loved you he wouldn't be ignoring you because you wouldn't have sex. I know that it is a hard thing to make someone mad that you care about, and that it is hard to break up, but you deserve someone who is going to respect you, and if he can't do that then you deserve, and will find better.
]
In the moment, it wasn't really a case of who was wrong.
You wanted different, incompatible things. It was impossible for you both to get what you wanted.
That will happen in every relationship. What is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ and how you deal with wanting different things.
Maybe you could have been a bit betterr: Without being there, I would say you could probably have been a bit clearer with him about what you needed: You needed to NOT have sex. You needed to relax. You were physically exhausted.
And he definitely handled this in a wrong way. He should have been a lot more respectful of what you had told him about your state and how tired you were. He could also deal with this disagreement in a much better way than giving you the silent treatment after the fact – that’s always immature and wrong.
Honestly, from what you've told me here, I would end it with this guy. He was too focused on his own orgasm - it was impolite at best - and his radio silence now is simply and completely rude.
If you’d like to make it work with this guy, don’t focus on who is right or wrong, and focus on how you can handle wanting different things better in the future. That’s the first place where it fell apart for you both.
]
hey sweetie, you are not wrong at all. So many guys do this! No matter how sweet they act, or how much they say they like you for you, lots of guys out there really only care about sex. and if you aren't going to have sex with him...he does not want to be with you. he is an ass hole, and completely un worthy of you. Good for you for sticking up for yourself. Find someone who would wait as long as you needed, they are the one that really matters.
]
More Questions: |