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humorist-workshop
triangle hurt
ive been seeing someone for almost a year and within 6 or 7 months i have been wanting to be with him, more than what we were being but he wasnt ready...my feelings for him was growing stronger and i couldnt resist! i ask him would he be with me (one last time) he said he is still not ready. so i told him it would be a matter of time that i would start seeing other pple! well i meet someone...and it began to take him off my mind somewhat! i still found myself wanting and thinking of him. long story short the new guy found out about us and the one i love found out about the new guy. as soon as i started talking to the new guy, the one i love show up and out strong for me...like he knew it was someone else or he saw i was getting distant!! im like where was this love like 5mths ago. and now that i see what my love has to offer i want it and him. but now everyone is hurt including me! it felt like my back was up against the wall. i dont want the new guy..im so in love with my long friendship. the only thing is now everyone is hurt! my love is hurt because i tried to move on, and the new guy is hurt because he wants to be with me and im hurt because i want my love!!! what the hell to do?? somebody help me please!! It feels like im on drugs and im going cold-turkey!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Your love has been a selfish prick.
It's okay, he might also be a great guy and your perfect partner. You may also live happily ever after with him - but please, give yourself the comfort of calling a spade a spade:
Your love behaved very badly. Selfishly. He didn't want you until he was struck with the fear that you might not be crazy about him anymore.
And now he is hurt because you tried to move on after WAITING FOR HIM FOR A YEAR!
It's okay if he is hurt, but he needs to recognize that if he wants to be with you, truly be with you, he needs to let go of the selfish expectation that you were going to wait forever, after he rejected you again and again.
Obviously, the pain will take some effort for you both to work through, but please, keep that spine you developed when you first told him you were done waiting, and tell him he doesn't get to punish you for choosing not to wait for him! You are now ready to be with him. If he is also ready, it's time for him to step up and let the past (his game playing and stalling and your attempt to move on) be IN the past.
Apologize to the other guy. Give him space and respect. Of course it hurts, but it happens in life. The best thing you can do is respect his feelings and be honest with him.
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