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how many is too many?
Okay so... I believe in being abstinent until marriage... but I've had oral sex with about 6 guys, 3 of which I was not dating and 1 that was in (is in) another relationship. Do I feel bad about it? um yeah.. I'm 19 and I feel like 6 guys is way too many, i'm actually ashamed to even tell my friends they think its 4 or 5. So advice anyone?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It's not really too many, but keep your limits. make sure your not going waaaayy too far!
And hey its your business not your friends. you don't have to tell them anything! If your anything like me you HAVE to tell somebodyy, then tell somebodyy but maybe just one friend, somebody you trust! I'm Never able to hold my stuff in!
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hello,
you don't have to share your experiences with anyone. This is private confidential things. But also remember what happened in the past as happened you can't change it. Try to take your mind off of it by doing things that you like to do. When you finally meet someone who loves you for who you are they won't mind what has happened in the past. They might be a little suprised or shocked at first. Don't worry about it.
hope this helped
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You should keep at it until you've reached 150 just to make absolutely sure.
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Every time I see another person who religion has made to feel ashamed of their sexuality, I feel sad.
The loss in control that leads you to have oral sex comes from the fact that you have a normal, healthy human libido. The intent to stay abstinent denies you physical and emotional connections your body is telling you you're ready to explore.
There is no reason to feel ashamed. It's true, people make mistakes. Some of those guys might have been mistakes. There's still no reason for shame, mistakes exist so you can learn, grow, and do better next time. So long as you always try to do better, to stick harder to your convictions, and to learn how to be you better, mistakes are momentary life lessons and nothing more.
I will say. Your natural drives are in conflict with your beliefs. If you marry a guy who you aren't sexually compatible with, you'll be unhappy. If you don't have sex before marriage, you'll never know until after if there's compatibility there. I'm not trying to encourage you to go out and fuck someone, I'm just pointing out the paradox that is belief in abstinence until marriage.
For the record, and to state my bias, I am utterly against waiting that long. I think people should wait until they're physically and emotionally ready to be intimate, and until they find someone they love and who loves them to share sexuality with. I think that getting married without having experienced your partner sexually is pretty damn close to playing Russian roulette with your life. Think about it, if you want more feedback drop me a question.
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We all do things we regret.
I'm ashamed of the amount of people I've slept with and I know I'm not the only one. 'How many is too many?' is unanswerable because it's a personal thing. If you felt fine about those 6 guys it wouldn't matter what anyone else thought. People are often too quick to judge the sex lives of others when really, it has nothing to do with them.
There's nothing you can do to take away the regret you feel for what you've done but you need to stop beating yourself up about it. Learn from your mistakes and remember them if you ever get yourself into a situation where you may do something you regret again. As for your friends, you don't have to tell them anything. Your sex life is a private matter.
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