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Christian or not. No faith at all?
I was a Christian for about three years prior to the religion I've chosen now. I was happy at first, excited and I felt something there for a second, but just a second. Then I felt like nothing was there, so I prayed, hoping I'd get some kind of response or at least the feeling of someone's presence, but I didn't feel anything. I kept praying anyway and concentrating and doing my best for three years, but I gave up. It shouldn't take three years for someone to at least say hi or something. So I gave up on it and transfered to a different religion.
Don't beat me with a stick or anything, please, but I did some searching around and I found one that interested me. It was a TYPE of Satanism, not 'devil hates God, eats souls' or anything silly like that. It was more focused on improving your skills and giving you comfort in times to distress. I liked the idea that they put out saying that after death, you could be reincarnated. (I have a very, very serious fear of dying, particularly dying at an old age)
I was pretty content with this religion and stuck by it for about several months. I actually felt like someone was there for me when I was knocked down, but recently, I feel like there's nothing there and I even thought about converting back to Christianity, but I immediately remembered what it was like before, so I shook the thought away. Religion is just really complicated for me and I don't know if maybe I should just lose faith in any religion altogether or if I should stick with the one that made me feel more comfortable, or what... Anyone know what I should do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
I have an immense fear of dying at an old age too..but that's mostly because I'm afraid of the pain.But,I've accepted that nothing lasts forever.
And as for the religious aspect it-I have certain views that I feel cannot be categorized just like that.I mean-I believe that religion is only a source of reassurance and hope that something/someone out there is looking after you.I don't think anyone is out there as such.And we should have faith in our own selves.Have faith on hope(did I make sense?I rarely do)
If your comfortable with a certain religion-go ahead.But I don't think anything binds you.Whatever you do-just keep hoping, and loving the world around you-despite it's many flaws...that's what I think ultimately matters. :)
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You are given a new life "a second chance"! You are searching for a truth, deep down in your heart of hearts you know there has got to be more too life than the life we perceive.
Stick with CHRISTianity my new friend, when I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart 20 years ago I had great expectations myself. Three month old believer and the enemy "Satan" attacked me and almost had me murdered by three guys and a swithchblade on a public transit bus, they cut my throat cm's from hitting my jugular vein.
Find a family of believers "a church" and an at home bible study group, Satan's biggest hate is losing you so expect any kind of attack against you directly or indirectly.
Here's a bible scripture verse for your protection (Ephesians Ch.6 Vs.11-18)
You are a newborn baby in Christ and Satan wants to destroy you now more than anything, "hey" but God's in charge!
If you would like to start off somewhere pick up a bible called THE MESSAGE and start in the book of Proverbs, it's fantastic! Online you can go to
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location) to find this information I am giving you.
I use to be a stick up kid in the city streets 20 years ago, I use to pack knives and rob people, i'm 39 today and been chewed up and spit out as a believer in Christ, I should have been dead at 19 but the Lord had better plans for me and here I am today talking with you.
Let me know what you think of proverbs! I can be found on facebook at geoalex71@live.ca
God bless!
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The Truth is that doubt and confusion is part of what being human means. The best way to get closer to the truth is being okay with not knowing something 100%, but making the best choices you can with the information you do have. The Truth comes from listening to your conscience, acting as well as you can, and re-examining your conscience thoughts and actions in light of new information and opinions.
It doesn’t come from religion. If it did, we wouldn’t have the millions of conflicting and disagreeing religions we do. If it did, religions would never act badly, or when they did, would be able to re-examine their beliefs and conscience in light of new information – Religions tend not to be able to do that.
If you are waiting for something or someone to come down from the sky and tell you the big magical answer to life, the universe and everything, don’t hold your breath. When it happens to others you just hear the stories: Lovely, meaningful, inspiration stories. Stories can be true or untrue. Stories don’t need to be enough to convince you. In fact, if you are thinking seriously and critically stories and words SHOULDN’T be enough to convince you of fact. It’s rational to expect more if you are going to base your life on a system of belief.
Have faith in yourself, in your ability to grow and learn and do your best. Be honest about how much, or how little, you believe about any specific religion.
Comfort and security is something that, in the end, you need to find for yourself, provide for yourself, and offer to others. That is were lasting comfort comes from - from living in the world with others and creating something lasting within this universe of doubt and confusion.
Keep searching. Keep thinking. Keep exploring and considering what makes the most sense to you. Keep learning. Religion is complicated for EVERYONE. Some people make it simple, and say they have the ultimate special Truth, but these people are just telling you stories. Stories are good and vital and important, but you get to choose the stories you live by. You even get to change your mind.
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God's "hi" is through His word. Jesus IS The Word. You must read and study the bible to know God. Prayer and the Word will bring you into a relationship with God. Sometimes He does talk to us in supernatural ways, but most often he talks to us through His Word (Jesus). The scriptures tells us a curious thing..."The Word is ALIVE and ACTIVE and sharper than any two edged sword..." How can the scripture be alive and active? It's just words on paper, right? On the contrary, Jesus is the Word and therefore, the scriptures themselves are alive!
I would advise you not to search for supernatural signs and wonders. Pray daily and sincerely from your heart and read the bible. Ask God to reveal the truth to you, if, indeed you want the truth. If you sincerely want the truth, I have no doubt that He will show you the truth as Jesus is "the Way, the Truth and the Life..."
As for your dabbling in Satanism, there is no distinction between evil Satanism and benign Satanism. If it steers you away from the Truth, it is evil and dangerous and you would do well to repent and ask God's forgiveness. Reincarnation is in direct contradiction to Christianity. Reincarnation assumes you can save yourself, even though you never know who or what you were in past lives, therefore you can never correct your behavior, which is a gross injustice. Christianity assumes you cannot save yourself and that Jesus had to come and die for you because someone had to pay the price of your sin on this earth. There was an outstanding debt that needed to be paid and Jesus paid with His life on the cross. Just imagine a sign hanging over Jesus' head while He hung there dead on the cross and the sign has YOUR name on it and a list of all the wrongs you've ever committed and will commit in the future, and the sign is stamped "Paid in Full". This is christianity. It is not a religion. Religion is what man says about God. Revelation is what God says about Himself. Revelation is what you get when you pray and study the bible.
Don't complicate the issue by trying so hard to hear or see supernatural things. God's way is easy and His load is light.
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The truth is, no higher spiritual being is going to contact you the way you'd like.
I can only speak for Christianity in this sense though. I, too, went through a phase where I was mad because God would not "send me a sign" of His truth. I wanted Him to do anything, something. I prayed and would request for His voice or for something like the curtains to move on their own so I knew somebody out there was listening to me after all.
It never happened.
And the truth is that it never will.
Years later I've restored my faith in God and now understand why those things don't happen. It's because your prayers are only that. If you don't truly believe in God then you shouldn't need the curtains to move. God's presence is all around us in everything that we do. He proves himself every day. If the curtains were to move then it likely wouldn't suddenly make us true believers anyway. We might end up saying, "Oh, that was the wind though!" and keep making meaningless requests.
In addition, God is all-knowing. He is all-powerful. He knows what is right and wrong. He knows what should happen in your life. He knows your struggles. He knows what you'd LIKE to happen compared to what NEEDS to happen to get you to where you should be going. In the end, your prayers are requests. They aren't demands. They aren't commands. You cannot manipulate God into doing something you want Him to do just because you want it done. He knows what is best for you.
There are miracles that happen every day that prove God's existence. You can choose to see them or to ignore them. Just recently I saw God work in front of my eyes.
Our local Schwan's guy comes through every two weeks and stops at the house to allow us to order. He told me he might not be here in two weeks because of his brother. His brother was found to have a severe blockage in his heart that was going to kill him if he didn't have surgery as soon as possible. When they found the blockage they also found some masses in his lungs that they believed to be cancerous lesions. He never did take care of himself so well. He smokes heavily, is overweight, and use to drink a lot of alcohol. Everyone in the family was pretty sure that this might mean the end of the guy if the cancer part was found to be true.
A week and a half later I ran into the Schwan's guy in the grocery store. I stopped him and asked about his brother. He said his family had prayed night and day for a miracle to happen. He said he knew his brother had done some really bad things and not taken care of him but they prayed God would spare him and restore health.
The doctor's did another scan over in preparation to the surgery.
The blockage in the heart was gone.
The masses in lungs were gone.
They checked things out thoroughly. There were no signs of these things. None. The doctors were amazed. They hadn't done anything to heal such things--not that there was anything they could do but surgery on the heart and biopsies on the lung tissue.
So, the brother was completely healed out of the blue. God, for whatever reason He saw, decided that it wasn't time for the brother to go through this sort of hurdle or lose his life. Maybe He saw that the brother could clean himself up and become a better person. What do we know, right?
There was a program on television I watched once. It was just a one-episode type deal. There was a small study done on prayer in the hospital. A Christian group and family members would pray for people that were very, very ill. The ones that received prayer (and, by the way, were not told that anyone was praying for them to get well) had a greater instance of sudden renewed health.
You can, of course, choose to believe it was something or someone other than God though.
Just saying you believe and going by what people tell you is in the Bible is not enough to keep faith. You have to open the Bible yourself to understand what God is about. You have to read the passages and do a little research for yourself from time to time. You have to take that step forward. It isn't about going to church at all, of course. It's about doing things yourself.
You think, say, a priest just listened to what other people told him about the Bible instead of opening up and reading it? Think a nun ever reads Bible passages before listening to someone on the street saying they know what the Bible really means? Sure, seek guidance when you don't quite understand--but you have to begin with yourself.
God is there when you need him. Not at your convenience. He isn't waiting on you, hand and foot. He wants the best for us but He has given us freewill. We can make our own decisions. We can make our own choices. We can create our own paths. In the end, He truly is there for us if we want Him, truly believe in Him, seek Him, love Him, and accept Him.
No matter what religious path you choose--it will all be the same in this sense. There won't be a magical being come down and have chit chats with you when you're feeling down. Nobody is going to beg you to keep believing in them when your faith is shaken. You will always go through periods where you feel uneasy or unsure. In the Christianity sense, that is when you pick up the Bible and read and then seek the guidance of an elder if you need more help.
I can relate to you on many levels. I really can.
I, too, really don't want to die. I am afraid of it. You have to ask yourself this though: Who isn't afraid of death? Even pastors are afraid of dying. Priests. Nuns. Monks. Everyone. It's human nature to be afraid of death. The reality is that it's just a part of life. We live, we do our best to try to be good beings, and if we're lucky we get to live in Heaven for the rest of eternity.
So, when you get to thinking about it, Heaven is a lot better than Earth in most ways. Why would you want a second live here on Earth if you could go to a happy, holy place and never have to die a second time? That's just my religious thought about that. That's all. You die for something good if you've lead a good life. Death is a part of life but there's no reason to have a strong fear of it if you know you've done everything you could to be a good person--because you will be rewarded for your faith then.
Most people here will probably say to believe in what you want to believe in or some other thing. The truth is, no matter what you choose to believe in, you're not going to be satisfied with just saying you believe in it. Religion isn't for you ease of mind or your convenience. The higher being is higher for a reason.
You probably won't ever pray the curtains will move by God, a goddess, the dead, or a flying spiritual monkey and have them actually move by that being. It doesn't mean they're not listening or that they're no really out there though.
There will always be trials. Your faith will always be shaken at times if you want the reward in the end. You have to be strong. You have to know where you stand. You have to keep pushing forward and believing.
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