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feel like everyones becoming a slut but me:/
so i'm a freshman in college and i feel like all my friends are just throwing themselves out there, like its the college thing to do. but i don't like being a slut, i'm the only one whos still a virgin because i feel like i haven't found the right guy yet. even all the guys i've messed around with i've felt a connection with, like i actually cared about them. i'm not into one night stands but i feel left out when all my friends talk about it:/ not to brag but i am a pretty girl and guys do try to get with me but i'm just not into it, i want a serious boyfriend...what should i do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
Well first things first...just because your friend are doing it doesn't mean you have to! Today society uses sex so casually as though its nothing...to me its almost lost the original meaning. And for high school, college kids, and adults it almost pushes this into our faces. You haven't found the right guy yet...thats all why rush it anyway? It will happen when its suppose to happen...at least thats what I hear. :) I know what you mean when you feel left out I sometimes do as well when my friends are talking about it...but I've learned to deal with it. Don't become someone your not...don't just do it because everyone else is do it because you lvoe that person or because you feel right about it. Don't let a boy tell you that being a virgin is stupid or your beliefs are stupid!
Just be you! This made me feel better...because sometimes I feel alone! :)
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Wow. I'm really impressed with you. Most girls, starting with middle school girls,start to throw themselves out at guys to get sex. Now,I'm a 10th grade girl who's not a virgin,and I regret that and I'm pretty ashamed of myself.I've never had a boyfriend and I plan to keep it that way until I find someone who does want to be in a serious relationship with me. I say stay pure and ignore when your friends talk about their one night stands because they're sluts and you're not which is great.
Now, here's the other thing:if one of your friends come to you one day crying because they thought they were in love with a guy they've just met the night before but the dude hurt them emotionally, or maybe physically, just promise me you'll be as comforting as possible and try to help before they get even more caught up and end up getting hurt worst. But by then,you will know the advise I am giving you may be pretty useful.
Its your life and your choice; get caught up or find someone who has really strong feelings for you,(LOVE),and you feel the same about them.
Sincerely,your non-virgin and not a
slut new friend
Jani aka cuzin
(cell is 909-549-7867 if you want to talk more)
:)
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This is easy. Flirt, but don't live down to expectations. Go hang out at parties, and instead of nights in the bedroom give out your number to the guy who's piqued your interest.
When you want there to be a connection before sex, you give a guy an opportunity to make one. You don't take off your clothes until you're ready but you let him know you like him and want to do things with him. If you meet him drunk you hang out with him sober the next time to establish you like him as more than just a male party favor.
Set your expectations, wear them on your sleeve, and someone will step up. If you want a boyfriend, let guys you're interested know that you want a boyfriend, and some of them will rise to the challenge. If a guy is too forward it's alright to tell him something like "I don't sleep with people I don't know and trust, but I'd like to get to know you, so call me tomorrow". Just because all guys want sex doesn't mean that's all most guys want. But when you're in a situation where sex is the logical end point to them and you turn it down, they'll think you're interested in nothing.
Let them know that's not the case, and guys will respond accordingly.
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Don't sweat it.
Not everyone has promiscuous sex in college. By not doing it, you're avoiding a whole lot of worry, heartache and risk.
You don't have to worry about getting pregnant or infected with an STI by a guy who doesn't remember your name in the morning. You don't have to feel dirty and used. You don't have to do the walk of shame!
Just wait it out for a bit. The free and easy attitude tends to die out a bit amongst most people by the end of the year. If you're looking for someone more serious, I'd suggest joining some clubs or teams where you can meet older guys, because they've generally settled down a bit and are ready to date, not just have sex.
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Are you really a freshman in college because this is a question a freshman in high school would ask.
If you don't want to sleep around don't. Idiot.
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