Iv been with my common law wife for 6 years and we had a good sex life up untill the last past year and now no sex no cuddling no nothing and its driving me crazzy I asked her what was wrong she told me it hurts for her to have sex yet she won't go see a doctor .so now I think about having sex with someone eles but not haven't done that yet .I love her to death but without sex I cannot do .I'm very high sex drivven think about it all the time but with her it just doesn't happen and I won't go on withou it .I don't consider myself selfish but I do have needs to be filled .so what do I do in this situation I have no clue but its making me deppresed and angery at the same time and masterbation is getting old its not the same as beeing close to that specal someone .but what do I do if I cheat that's not good either and don't realy want to do that and throw away 6 years of what we have together
WittyUsernameHere answered Monday August 30 2010, 10:27 pm: You need relationship counseling.
My wife had a similar issue brought on by birth control. The hormones killed her sex drive and made her sensitive to the point that sex was often painful and unenjoyable. Finding alternate forms of birth control which removed the high doses of artificial hormones fixed our problem, and our sex life has flourished again.
There are many things including diet, exercise, sleep, medications, stress, etc which can have this effect on someone.
But you are not wrong in desiring intimacy. Especially for those of us with high sex drives, a lack of sexual intimacy is destructive to daily peace of mind and to the relationship itself. It is a psychological fact that men use sex as a way to open up and be vulnerable, and that the loss of sexual intimacy is damaging to our ability to connect to those we choose to date and be with.
You need to sit her down. You need to tell her that the lack of sexual intimacy has caused you to disconnect emotionally from her to the point that you know that the relationship cannot and will not continue as is. Bring up counseling, tell her that you want to be with her, but you know that the time has come for outside input into the relationship and for her to see a doctor.
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