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Grown daughter, Anxiety Drugs... She's Losing her Life!
I have a 40 year old daughter. She is on anxiety medication. Being on this medication she lost her marriage and her children age 13 and 9. I tried to help her and she told me I am trying to run her life. I am trying to get her back on tract she is homeless now. She is living with a girlfriend and the children don't want to live there with her. They want to stay in there own house with there father. She is also turning the children against me. She has a lot of health problems. I wanted to go to the doctor's with her to discuss her medical problem and she said no. How do I find out what medication she is on? As far as I know she is taking Paxil and quetiapine. And occasionally drinks Vodka.
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You can't get access to her medical records or a list of prescriptions as that would violate the law and doctor/patient confidentiality.
If her mental health is in question you can phone the doctor and explain that you're her mother and deeply concerned about her mental health and that she could be in crisis. It's then up to the doctor to call her in.
You can point out to that person that you have seen her drink while on medication and that her children do not and or are scared of being with her for prolonged periods. Aside from that you can't help her if she doesn't want to be helped. An intervention may help but could ultimately fail as most people with mental health issues or in crisis cannot see the problem. They may think you're the one not with reality.
Perhaps the children's father can speak to a lawyer or judge about this and get action if they are indeed in a bad environment.
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I think the first priority here needs to be your grandchildren. This is not kind of life for a 13 year old and 9 year old to live. Your daughter definitely has some problems but these children have done nothing wrong to deserve this kind of life.
If the father has not done so already, I would recommend he file for custody of the children given the condition of their mother. I don't know why any judge would deny it. If he is unable to file for custody, you need to find a way to get the children out of this situation. Once they are safe and in a stable environment, THEN you can turn your attention towards your daughter. An intervention or ultimatum is needed here along with some mental health and substance abuse counseling. If she doesn't clean up her act, she should lose legal custody of her children.
I realize you're worried about your daughter and rightly so. Take care of the children first before focusing on your daughter. That would be my advice to you.
Best of luck!
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