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should i or should i not?
i met this guy online
he lives 15 min away and wants to hang out
i know he's real cause i video chatted with him
but i think all he wants to do is hook up (actually, i know. he straight out told me he wants to.)
im 18 years old, never been kissed (i know, pathetic)(and he doesnt know about this, i was too embarrassed to tell him)
hes not a virgin
idk what to do!
should i take a risk and hang out with him(he could end up being my first kiss! but i feel like he wants to do more...)? am i stupid for even thinking about doing this? and he keeps telling me im beautiful and stuff.
idk what to do! :|
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
imagine 10 years later and you found the perfect guy and you all are talking about each other's lives, and when he asked you your first kiss, you had to think about the time you gave your first kiss to this douche who just wants to hook up.
sounds horrible? im sure it is.
dont make him also be your first 'second-base', or first sex. you have something special that most girls your age have already lost. dont lose it so easily.
you know, i was you. i waited long and crazy years, and i finally got my first kiss when i was 19. and it was magical. thats how your first kiss is supposed to be. magical. dont regret it.
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Deep down you know that you do not want to end up being used. You don't want your first kiss to be with some guy who could turn out to be a bad, embarassing memory.
He has made his agenda clear. It doesn't sound like your agenda.
There is nothing pathetic about not having had a kiss at any age. Don't start feeling like this kiss or making out or having sex is something you have to hurry up and "get it over". What a sad introduction to something that should be wonderful. You deserve to be charished, not to be somebody's Friday night hookup.
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He is giving you all of the signs that he wants to use you.
Deep down inside, you're very aware of this.
"...all he wants to do is hook up"
Ask yourself this:
Do I really wanted to be used?
Do I really want to be just another hook-up for this creep?
Do I want to be treated as an object and not as human being with thoughts and emotions?
A first kiss isn't worth getting into a messy situation. You might be pressured to go further than you're prepared for, too.
The "you're so beautiful" remark is what a lot of guys do to bed you. They know it works with many girls. They throw out compliments so that you feel good being with them. It's how they get you close to use you or to continue using you. Ask nearly any girl who has been in a friends-with-benefits situation. They never understand that the compliments are not real and always pursue a deep-meaning relationship with the man who only wants to have some sex.
Back off with hanging out with him. It is not a good situation to put yourself in. Your first kiss will happen in time. You don't want your first kiss to be by the boy who just wanted to use you or who didn't really care about you at all. A first kiss can be quite meaningful if you actually have a real connection.
If, for some reason, you decide you still want to "hang out" with this boy then be prepared. Meet in public and stay in the public so that he doesn't try to take advantage of you or the situation and pressure you into something you don't want to do with him. I don't recommend the meet though.
Just because he's a real life human being doesn't make him a good guy.
There are a lot of people who want to use you in this world. You have to be prepared to stand up, fight back, and be strong against them. You might really, really want to have a kiss but this guy is not someone who you want to share that moment with. Trust me.
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