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my friend was almost raped
My best friend just told me something really bad tonight that I am not supposed to tell anyone. But its really bothering me and i need someones help on what i should do. & i dont wanna hear that I am a bad friend for saying this online when i wasnt supposed to tell anybody.
My friend went to her 20 year old sisters house to hang out with her. She met this kid while being there and took him back to meet her sister. One thing led to another and the two started making out in another room. Her sister and her boyfriend walked in and her boyfriend ripped my best friend off of the other guy and started taking off her clothes and feeling her up. the kid she met who she was making out with started joining in while her older sister watched and encouraged this to keep going in order to have a foursome. She doesnt want to tell her mom because she says it will ruin the family. Should i keep it a secret like i promised or say something to her mom? I don't want her to be mad at me but no matter what i need to do whats right.
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Your friend was sexually assaulted. Her body was abused and her will was ignored. It's not your place to take her will away from her. If she wants to tell her mother, that's her choice, not yours.
Here's something a lot of women don't understand until it happens. The system is not kind to rape victims. Many women have called it "being raped twice". The defense finds ways to blame the woman for what happened. It's an ordeal and it's traumatic. You absolutely cannot impose this on your friend. If she wants to go through with it, it has to be her choice. Choice right now is of paramount importance, her choice.
Be there for her. Let her talk. Encourage her to talk to a counsellor. Reassure her when she needs it. Explore the idea of her telling her mother with her, but don't take away her autonomy. She needs to be in control of what happens about this from here.
I've been in your boat. It's a terrible place to be. I didn't tell her mother. She didn't tell her mother. I encouraged her to come forward and she never did. This was a decade ago. We were teenagers. We talked on the phone all the time, talking everything out. She spent the night and I woke her from nightmares. We wrote in journals together and wrote letters we never sent.
No one ever gets over being sexually assaulted. But a good friend can give you the strength to cope with it.
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You need to tell her mom! Tell her that if she don't you are going to! I was almost raped, well sexually assualted back in January. I waited a week to take it to the police, and of course hey didn't do a dang thing about it. The guy ended up getting away with it! But, hopefully, if this gets out sooner, then something can be done with it. The guys that were doing it NEED to be punished and behind bars, or even in the pen! And the sister definately needs to be punished as well! I mean, I know she's going to feel like she can't tell anyone, but if she doesn't tell, then it's gonna bother her for a long time. Trust me, what happened to me bothers me a lot!
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first try to convince her to tell her mom. but if she really doesn't want to do it then you need to tell her that you're going to tell her mom. and then do it. this is too big of a secret to be kept.
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you need to tell her mom as soon as possible this is bigger than just keeping a secret by telling her mom you will be the greatest friend even if you dont think so
hope this helps
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