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i'm scared he's still in love with her..


Question Posted Sunday July 25 2010, 3:24 am

My boyfriend and I got back together, the night we did though he was explaining something personal to me, how he had been hurt really bad by his ex... and I know he loves me unconditionally... but the way he looked when he said her name... it makes me wonder if i'm his second choice.. that if she moved back that maybe i wouldn't even exist anymore.. and it scares me more than anything because i would go to the ends of the earth for him and only him.. and i'm scared that he feels the same way i do about her but he thinks he feels that way about me... i'm willing to be patient... i know he loves me and cares for me... i just wonder if he cares and loves her more.. but doesn't let anyone know...he gave something to me he said he'd give to only one girl in the world... but that fear is still there.. am i just paranoid?

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Teen2TeenHelp answered Monday July 26 2010, 1:15 am:
It's normal to be paranoid. I'm in the same situations as well but I look at it this way, if he's with you and he tells you he loves you then don't worry about the other girl. It's okay to be a little jealous, I know I am :/ But, other than that, unless he gives u a reason to suspect him while he's with you, then don't stress too much over his ex. :)

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fixer44 answered Sunday July 25 2010, 6:32 pm:
Well, you're not being paranoid. Matters of love are very important. I think he was simply trying to express his feelings to you about his past relationship. I actually applaud the fact that he's so open and honest about it. It's tough for us guys to open up sometimes. Just let him know how you feel often, and your relationship is only going to grow. Besides, even IF his ex comes back, hopefully your guy is smart enough to realize that she isn't reliable and would probably leave again. After all the worrying, just understand that life goes by quickly and no matter what- spend this lifetime with those you love.

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gr8fruit answered Sunday July 25 2010, 11:57 am:
Hey there,
I believe that when he told you, he didn't mean to worry you, he wanted you to understand what he is going through. He obviously trusts you and your opinion if he tells you about his ex. If he got back with you, he must love you more and if you know him as an honest person who treats you right, then he would not get back together just to get rid of you. Also, if his ex hurt him really bad, I doubt there is any chance of him going back to her again after whatever she did. No you are not paranoid, you are just concerned and you would like to know that everything is alright.

I believe his look was one of "I could never trust her again". When someone hurts you really bad, you can't help but look saddened or mad when you hear their name. One of my friends hurt me bad and whenever I hear her name my face probably shows hurt, but it could be interpreted differently by different people. I think he wanted to be reassured you would be there for him and that you wouldn't hurt him the way she did.

Every guy will have a little bit of emotion for the person they left, but that doesn't matter once they move on. If he said you are the only one girl in the world and he gave you something special, I believe he has moved on to you. If an honest guy tells you straight you are the only one, he usually means it. Let him know that you really care for him and that you don't want anything to come between you two (that way you don't bring up his ex, but he will know that you are there for him). If he says he feels the same way, there is likely nothing to worry about <3

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