I have been seeing my boyfriend for almost 6 months now and we started having sex more than a month ago. Things have been going great but now I'm in this situation where I don't know what to do.
He asked me if I was on birth control pills and I had told him yes because I REALLY wanted to have sex with him right away when we started discussing it. I'm not on birth control pills though. I know it isn't good to lie but at the time I didn't think it was going to matter a lot.
We were still using condoms every single time but last night he said he wanted to do it without a condom. I convinced him to wear one anyways but afterwards he was talking about not going to use one next time since I'm already on the pill.
What do I do? I am not on the pill and I can't just tell him I lied to him about it. I don't know how to convince him to keep wearing the condoms when he obviously doesn't want to. I can't afford to get on birth control pills right now. What do I do now?
familyfirst answered Thursday July 22 2010, 1:13 pm: You owe him the truth. Your boyfriend is concerned about getting you pregnant because it is clear that neither of you are ready to be parents. There are three things that came to mind when I read your post.
1. You should NOT have sex with your boyfriend without a condom. It is not safe. If I had to guess I would say you are not his first and until you are ready to get married and are completely certain there are no diseases being transferred... no condom, no sex.
2. What a terrible way to start a relationship; with a lie! Especially one that could end up with you forcing parenthood upon two people who are not ready to be parents. If you love this boy and want to have long term relationship with him he deserves a girl who is honest with him so he can trust you.
3. If you had gotten pregnant it is the baby who would be suffering and as a mother... this is the highest level of selfishness I can imagine. Sex is MEANT for reproduction. It may be a fun pasttime... but you cannot tell this to your ovaries and other reproductive organs. They are on this earth for the purpose of reproduction and that is what the act of intercourse is for. Women have sex and then get shocked that they are pregnant!!!
Think about your safety and use condoms. Think about you, your boyfriend, and your so far unconceived child and be honest. No relationship will last if it is based on lies. You'll be a better person for telling the truth. A life lession. [ familyfirst's advice column | Ask familyfirst A Question ]
BeePeeTee answered Thursday July 22 2010, 1:00 pm: Okay, so there's 2 very simple options.
1) you come clean and tell him that youre not on birth control.
But you don't seem to want to do that, which I completely understand. You dont want him getting upset with you.
2) GET ON THE STINKIN' PILL! If youre scared about asking your parents or something, you don't exactly have to tell them it's because youre having sex, although it might be best if you do. If you tell them that you have irregular periods and not knowing when they are coming frustrates you ( birth control helps regulate when you start and finish bleeding. Added bonus! lol) they might consider getting it for you. [ BeePeeTee's advice column | Ask BeePeeTee A Question ]
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