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Boyfriend losing interest, LDR
I'm starting to get a feeling that my boyfriend is losing interest. Its temporary long distance relationship (LDR), we'll see each other again in September.
What do I do? I love him and I don't want it to be over.
In the beginning of the summer we used to text everyday, and then it turned into one word answers on his part, but he'd still text me back right away. Now, if I text him, I'll get a reply late at night with a one word answer.
Things changed about two weeks ago. A week ago we got into a minor disagreement where he lost his temper a little bit, but I apologized the next day and he said I'm good. Since then he won't text me back til the end of the day. I texted him twice first, and he texted me once first.
How much time should I give him before I mention whats going on in our relationship? And I'm not texting him first for a while, unless he texts me first (oh the rules of texting, lol), just to give him some time to himself.
Any advice will be much appreciated
19/f
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Is your boyfriend losing interest in you? Or is he frustrated by your main method of communication: text messages?
Text Messages SUCK. If the only way you are speaking to someone is through text you may as well not be talking to them at all.
They are awful way to communicate with people you care about. They strip away complexities, limit humour and affection and are very easy to misinterpret and to cause drama with. They can be intrusive too and those ‘Rules of Texting' you mention can quickly become aggressive power games.
So I’d suggest you try to reach out to him with a different medium. Send him a text asking to arrange a call when he’s free. Invest in a calling card if that’s what it takes so he doesn’t have to pay for it. Or send him an e-mail message with a story and some questions for him to get back too. Txt messages are built for short, one sentence answers. If he only has one opportunity a day to respond to you, you might get more back if you send a longer e-mail with more specific things for him to respond too.
Also, do what every couple in this day and age SHOULD do and establish your own ‘Texting Rules for Our Relationship’. People think about texts very differently, so I’m always careful to let my partner know how I deal with texts and it saves me a lot of hassle in my relationships. These are sorts of things I tell my partner.
I don’t really like communicating by text message; I prefer e-mail and phone calls.
My job requires me to be away from my cell phone, or have it on silent most of the day.
If a text message doesn’t need an immediate response (ie, asking a question about dinner tonight) I will probably leave it till after work to respond.
I generally don’t respond to text messages when I’m out with friends, I think it’s rude. So if it’s not immediately important, I’ll get back to you during a break.
If you NEED to tell me something, call me. I will always pick up the phone for you when I’m able.
You might feel VERY differently than I do, but whatever you feel, tell your boyfriend and ask him how he feels about texts. It’ll spare you some of this confusion and drama in the future if you know ‘Of course he won’t get back to me till tonight. He leave his phone when he goes to class.” Or whatever the case may be. Don't rely on your own assumptions about the Rules of Texting - doing that is a very good way to cause hurt feelings and confusion.
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I do not want to sound like a creep but I am having the same problems in my relationship. 19/f also. Listen, if you ever want to talk and just vent then let me know. I've been trying to find someone who could put some input and know what I mean when I talk about my relationship. So if you're interested, let me know!
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I do agree with the calling part. I think that you should call him and talk on the phone. It is alot better than texting, that way you can hear hows he's feeling through his voice. You might want to ask him if he has been busy or how you feel. Nothings better than just telling someone the truth instead of poking around trying to find it out yourself. Good luck hun!
-F.C
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Hmm, maybe try and calling him instead of texting. That way, you don't have to wait sooo long for a text, and be down about it. If you speak on the phone, he won't say just one word and hang up. When you do talk to him, talk about something fun you both did together, so that he thinks of the great times you two have had together. Hope I helped! Good Luck!
-Brina
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