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Divorce. Alimony. Child Support.
15-F
Hi there. So last year me and my dad found out my mom has been cheating on my dad for four years.
She's moving out this Saturday to be with the guy. Obviously my parents are getting a divorce.
My dad always vents to me about things. He says we may not be able to make the bills, and we might have to move from the house I grew up in.
I really, really don't want that.
So I told him to nail my mom for child support, which he would clearly get since I'm staying with him.
But my dad said my mom would try and nail him for alimony.
My question, would the judge really grant my mom that? She's the one who comited adultry in the marrige. My dad is the one who gets to keep the kid. He has to support an underage kid, while deal with his emotional suffering.
I told him that's ridiculous under the circum stances. And he said judges usually favor the woman.
And he said my mom could claim mental, emotion, and/or physical abuse on my dad.
Which is NOT true at all.
My parents NEVER. EVER. fought. Ever. They've only had bigs fights like three times in all my years of living. Aside from now with all that's happened.
I told my dad I would go to court and be his witness if she were to say those things.
And I would call my mother out on her lie.
QUESTION; Would a judge honestly grant my mother alimony checks? Would my dad seriously not win this case?
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I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
Divorce laws differ from state to state. I doubt you mother would be granted alimony since she is the reason for the dissolving of the marriage. Your father should speak with a lawyer about filing for a divorce on the grounds of Adultery and Abandonment. This is something he should do immediately before your mother files.
As I said each state has different laws regarding divorce. The state I live in is a 50/50 state meaning that all property will be divided 50/50 regardless of who is the cause of the divorce. There is room for negotiation with in the law and certainly a judge could take into consideration the right of a child to continue to live in the home he/she has been raised in.
Again these are legal matters that the average person does not have the required learning or skill to navigate. Your father needs to hire a lawyer who is in the Practice of divorce law which is a separate and specialized practice of the law. Many general practice lawyers say they handle divorces, but like everything else if you want the best go to the specialist. You can always call the local Bar Association for a referral to a Lawyer whose practice is limited or specializes in divorce.
There are a couple of things I would like you to remember while this goes through the process. Things may be said that you might find hurt full. Remember during this time that, and this I pretty sure of, that both of your parents love you. Remember that you did nothing to cause your parents to break up. Try not to choose sides, yes mom is leaving dad, but is she leaving you or is she arranging for time that she can spend with you. If so can you really say she has left you for another man? You may not like the other man and no one is saying you should. But your mother will always be your mother regardless of what happens between her and your dad.
Yes, it is alright, should this end up in court, for you to testify for your dad. Mom may not like it but I’m sure in some way she will be proud that you took the oath and sat there and told the truth. She will be proud because that is the way she raised you. I know I would be if I was in that position and you were my daughter.
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Lawyer up. No one can give you an accurate prediction of results, but I can tell you that testimony of a 15 year old kid could be pretty compelling.
Both of you need to stop talking to your mother. Get a lawyer asap, and be up front about your willingness to testify on your father's behalf.
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