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Inheritance dilemma!
I'd like to bequethe a substantial part of my estate to my two younger sisters but really DON'T want either of their spouses or children to inherit this down the line. Is it fair to insist in my Will that my sisters bequethe that inheritance to my choice of charities when they die?
I'm 63 and female.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Nope. It's really not very fair at all.
Note: I am assuming that you aren't concerned for your sisters' safety, and that their families are not abusive or criminal. If they are, then such a restriction makes sense, for their safety and your desire not to support illegal or immoral behaviour.
However - unless their families are doing illegal or harmful things, then in my opinion, it would be unfair, rude and disrespectful to put those limits on a gift.
Giving someone a gift of money but applying those sort of conditions on is pretty much always rude. I am certain there is a legal way for you to write such a restriction into your will, but just because you can do it, doesn't really make it right.
You are better to take the positive route, rather than the negative route. Write your sisters, or speak to them in person, and encourage them to use the money for something for themselves - a trip they have always wanted, to pay down debts, or for a new car/furniture ectra.
Many states do have ways to restrict a spouse or child's access to a parent's inheritance, but I would strongly advise against a move that would surely seem disrespectful to your sisters and their families. Without so rudely and deliberately restricting them, let them know that your hope for the money is that it will be spent on a treat for themselves leaves it in their hands to honour your wishes, rather then makes them indentured too you.
Although people we love will not always do what we want them too, it's never really fair to impose these sorts of restrictions, unless you are looking out for their safety. (Even then, there is only so much 'looking out' you can do for adult siblings).
If you are really concerned, I honestly think you'd be better off giving them less, and donating to charity yourself, then giving them a generous gift with the kind of strings attached that would cause pain, conflict and probably leave them feeling disrespected and controlled.
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It seems like your asking for an opinion...and my personal opinion is yes, that is rather wrong. I mean if your going to leave people money, what they do with it is up to them. Whether or not they leave it to charities or to there families shouldn't matter, but then again, its your money. Do with it what you will. Just remember, it may sound horrible, but when were all gone, what happens afterwords doesn;t matter, because we'll be in a better place.
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