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ex boyfriend vs. current boyfriend
I am 17/Female. I have been dating my current boyfriend for 11 months, and he is a wonderful guy. He treats me very well and obviously since we have been together for so long we are very comfortable being ourselves around each other. I feel that these are two very important qualities in a relationship, and that is why I have stayed with him for so long.
The problem is that I still have very strong feelings for my ex boyfriend. This ex boyfriend and I haven't spoken in a long time, but he was my first kiss and my first boyfriend. I have had long-lasting, deep, emotional/romantic feelings for my ex that I simply don't have for my current boyfriend. This of course makes me feel incredibly guilty, because my boyfriend doesn't do anything wrong and doesn't deserve that. And of course I can't exactly admit that I have feelings for someone else to my current boyfriend; I really don't want to hurt him. I have no idea what the solution is to this problem. No matter what I do, I can't seem to get over my ex. I have tried to move on by dating other guys, and obviously it's not working.
My question is, what should I do about the whole situation with my current boyfriend? I feel awful breaking up with him because I really do value our relationship deep down. I care about him a lot, and I constantly worry about what things will be like if I were to break up with him. I'm terrified to do so.
Also, what should I do about my ex boyfriend? I feel as though it is impossible for me to WILLINGLY give him up because for the majority of the past four years, he has been my entire life. I know that I need to get over him and I know that I need to talk to him to get the closure I need, but the problem is that I don't want to.
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All girls always going to harbor feelings for their first love. He was your first everything. But obviously something went wrong with your ex. There is a reason why you two broke up in the first place. My first ex was in middle school. when we got to highschool, we both realize that we both grew up. We wanted different things in life. We both were just different. And we brought out the worst in each other. It took me a long time to get over him because I known him and liked him for a very long time. Those feelings dont dissapear like that. They will eventually. But there always be a tiny little spark left behind as a reminder. So if you still have feelings for you ex while you are with your current bf, you need to take some time and think about it. It's not fair to your current bf. You need to figure out what to do. You need to think if those feelings you have for your ex are worth rekindling. You need to figure out if your ex is worth trying again. You need to figure out who you really want to be with... your ex or your current bf. And most importantly, you need to know if your ex feels the same. It is a sticky situation. You cant string your current bf along for the ride. Your current bf, sounds like a real keeper. he sounds like a really good boyfriend. And if you are still deep down still having these feelings then he is not the right guy.... I'm not saying the ex is. But it is something you are going to have to question. So the best advice I can give you is to think things through and to listen to your heart. Every thing will eventually work out, hopefully. Good luck. And I hope my advice helped. P.S. I know you dont want to hurt your current bf. But when it comes down to it, you do need to be honest with him and your feelings.... I know it hard and it's going to hurt him. But honesty is a good policy to have in a relationship. :)
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Dear "ex boyfriend vs. current boyfriend",
Okay. Here's what I've figured out from talking to countless girls all over the world. You never get over the first guy. The first boyfriend, the first kiss, the first "I love you"... you won't ever be over him because, well, he's the first, and you've given so much of yourself to him. But you also gotta realize that he's in the past for a reason. Something happened and now it's over. He's probably over you... I'm guessing and you just need to understand that while you will always have feelings for this boy, you gotta move on.
My first boyfriend was the biggest dick you could think of. He only wanted me for physical stuff and dumped me in a text message when he got what he wanted. Yet, before that, I was some how in love with him. He hurt me so bad but even today I still have feelings for him. It's stupid! But it's just something girls have to deal with. And it sucks. (haha so do periods and child birth but we gotta do that too don't we?)
See, what I realized was that as much as I wanted to be friends with my ex, it just wouldn't work. It just made things sooo much harder. Maybe your still friends with your ex and that could be part of the problem. Now, I'm not saying you can't be friendly, I just wouldn't adise texting him or hanging out with him too much.Your current boyfriend sounds amazing. Put your energy into him because he's worked really hard to deserve that from you.
Of course, there is another possibility. If you still find yourself wanting your ex then maybe its just a way of your heart telling yourself your current boyfriend isn't right. I'm not saying that makes your ex right but maybe it's just that your looking for something more in your relationship that you can find with someone else. Not specifically your ex. If that makes sense...
Well that's all I've got to say on that... Hopefully something above helps you out.
Goodluck!
xoxo
LoLLiPoP
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