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Boyfriend told a Weird Lie
So my boyfriend and I (we're in high school) have been dating for about a month. He's a trustworthy, respectful, and caring guy in all respects and he's always really sweet to me. And we know each other fairly well. We also have talked about honesty and agree that telling the truth is always best and said that we will both be honest. Also in conversation, when sex was mentioned, he basically said he was a virgin (he didn't say "I am a virgin" but he said "I'd have no experience with that/know anything about how that would go" in refrence to sex. And I'm a virgin, he knows that. Our group of friends are all "good kids" who don't have sex, etc. in most cases (they aren't against it but don't want to in high school). And I don't have that policy, but everyone knows I'm a virgin. And I'm pretty sure most them would assume my boyfriend is too. However, my best friend, who never lies to me and is in band with him, told me that his ex and he had sex the whole time they were dating (she heard this from 2 trustworthy but 2-3 hand sources) and they he broke up with her because she thought she was pregnant (but it was a false alarm). Why would he lie to me about that? I could understand him saying he wasn't a virgin if he was-but this way? It makes no sense. Maybe he thought I would find being a virgin better-but I'd rather have the truth and I'm pretty darn sure he knows that! I think I'll probably ask him about the ex-gf (he hasn't really had reason to mention her) but I want to be prepared for what his answers regarding his virginity may be and why he has said what he said before I do that.
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Technically, this is not a "weird" lie because most men will repeat it. It is common for members of either sex to discount the true number of people they had sex with down to the number of people they didn't mind that they had sex with. Plain and simple, the reason he lied is because he thought it would make him look better in your eyes-anything else is irrelevent.
Also, keep in mind that he's not a very good liar, given that the facts were easy enough for you to find out. I would ask him about his ex-girlfriend without any hint that you know and see what he says. His reaction will tell you loads about him, but you have to be willing to see it.
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hey, i can sorta relate to both you and your boyfriend (if in fact he has had sex before).
i understand you're probably angry that he may have lied to you but i dont think you should approach his ex about it. if you do and your boyfriend finds out i think he could get angry at you. he could think 'she has no right to talk about me to my ex' and im sure you'd feel the same way.
if you want to get information about the story you heard i think the best thing to do is talk to your boyfriend about it. maybe just start of with a nice conversation, you could hint at what you want to know. you could ask 'hey, i know we've talked about sex before, and i dont want to sound like im nagging or anything but you didnt exactly say you were a virgin. you just danced around the subject leaving the question unanswered. could you please tell me if you've had sex before?'.
i dont think you should flat out accuse him of it, ask him instead but dont be too harsh about it because everyone makes mistakes.
he may have suggested he was a virgin because he didnt want to remember his time with his ex. or he thought it might be best if you thought he was one. also, he could've meant he'd had oral sex but was still a virgin, when you're doing that sorta stuff with someone for the first time everything seems more of a big deal. like i shouldnt be doing this because ive heard stories that you can get pregnant. even though the stories could be completely unreal.
oh, another question could be 'whats the furthest you've been with a girl'
also, and i am not saying your friend is a liar because im sure she isnt, but stories can get twisted around when they're being passed on to other people. a bit like a chinese whisper.
so i think it's best if you talk to your boyfriend about it, and not go nosing into his ex-gf and asking her questions.
anyway, i hope this helped out out a bit.
good luck with it :)
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Is it really that much of a weird lie? Think about it. If what your friend is saying is true, that he left a girl because she thought she was pregnant, he's not going to want you to know about that is he? Not to mention the fact that you are a virgin and he may have thought being one too would sit better with you.
Now it could well be that he made a mistake and regrets it and wanted a fresh start with you but nevertheless, it's a pretty big thing to keep from your new girlfriend.
Talk to him about it calmly. Don't jump in with accusations, just ask him if what you heard is true. Make it clear that you don't instantly believe your friend and that you want to hear his side of the story.
It could be that he just made a mistake, it could be that he's not as respectful and trustworthy as you thought. Either way, it's up to you how you deal with it.
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