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advice for toning down an ex
15\m
Ok so I've been going through the year with no issues so far...except for one little annoyance. There's a girl who's in five of my classes this year, an ex-girlfriend to be exact (and oh lucky me, the one one I've ever had a bitter break up with on her end, not mine). We dated in the beginning of last year-for a month-and were friends at the beginning of this year and were over the summer as well.
I'm confused though. She'll try to provoke arguments with me for no apparent reason just out of the blue in the middle of class. I'd always just ignored it all this year pretty much and let her be a drama queen, but recently I wanted to just shut her up, so I responded to her for the first time telling her that if she really hated me so much (her big thing is that she claims to hate me and lies about things when she's in that mood and when she tells me to leave her alone-though I'd never responded to her until this point-she approaches me the next day as if nothing happened), that she'd stop telling me about it and just leave ME alone instead of obsessing over me so much and trying to get my attention. She broke down after going silent for a minute or two, though there was no venom in my voice and I said near those exact words, keeping it as brief as possible.
I don't feel guilty, but I'm wondering now if I have to do this every time she provokes me to just get her to stay quiet and cut the obsession crap. What can I do to get her to get off me and if possible be friends with her? I've already attempted everything I can think of, including just trying to figure out why she "hates" me by asking her in a serious conversation. I don't care which way it goes, but it'd be nice if we could remain friends out of convenience.
Any suggestions? And did I do the right thing?
Thanks,
-Xehanort
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hey
girls are so emotional!!! breaking up can have so many impacts on us and we take it differently. i went super quiet , when it sunk in thats when i cried. Girls think differently to boys, i think that sometimes you can't be friends with your ex especially if one person still has feelings for the other person.
at the same time if your were friends first give her time, to realize you guys were not mean't to be. Be careful of what you say to her because, girls analyse every single word..all the best!
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Woww. I've had an obsessive boyfriend before.. He kept telling me to get over him after I broke up with HIM. Like really?. Haha
But, she obviously still likes you, and is really hurt. By saying she hates you she's trying to make you care, and say something back like, I still care about you, blah blah blah. In that situation, I would tell her that you were sorry if you hurt her, or for anything you have done, and let her know that you're truly over her, That she doesn't have a chance.. So If she wants to be friends... Fine. If not.. Fine.
Takee it from there.
hope that helps(:
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Get down to it. She's obviously hurt. Maybe you know why, maybe you dont. Text or call her or something. It's clear she isn't completely over you. What I would do is say,
"If I did something to hurt you, I'm sorry." Go from there. Get the facts out, even if it means reeling into the past. It'll suck, but it'll help resolve some things.
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