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Sex outside the marriage


Question Posted Thursday June 3 2010, 3:34 pm

ok, i have been married for 5 years he was my first one i ever slept with, but now after i had my son, i still love him but i am looking for some excitement on the side to try someone different is that normal? is that ok? i have tried allready 3 guys in the last couple of weeks and all of them dissapointed me sexually is it me? should i stop? am i just crazy for doing this? i am still young (24) and never played around like this before but still feel unsatified what does everyone thing please advice

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OhMyLucyDarling answered Friday June 4 2010, 7:29 pm:
No it is not okay


You are not only just looking for what else is out there, You are cheating on your husband. If your husband doesn't satisfy you then TALK to him about it and communicate to find a way where you two can work out a plan. Cheating on your husband is unfaithful, disrespectful, hurtful etc. NO, It is not okay to cheat! You owe it to your husband to sit down and tell him you are not happy in the marriage.

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dearcandore answered Friday June 4 2010, 12:49 pm:
No, its not okay. You know in your heart that its not and I believe that is the real reason you haven't been satisfied with your recent sexual partners. You won't find satisfaction out there. The joy and satisfaction you seek will be found inside your own marriage, believe it or not. You married very young. Of course there is a part of you that is wondering what you may have missed. However, that's water under the bridge. You made a choice to be with someone for the rest of your life. You made a vow to be committed to that man for better or WORSE for the rest of your life. Well, this is one of the "worse" parts. Sometimes marriage can get tough and it makes you wonder what you were thinking. But the good news is you can be close again and learn to enjoy your marriage and your husband in a new way. But this will take work. Yes, no one likes work, but work gets you things. Just like you earn money at a job, you have to earn happiness in your marriage. You need to start by going to see a marriage counselor. ASAP. You don't have to tell your husband right away about why, but you can tell him that you're unhappy and you want some help to try to work things out. The truth can come out in the sessions and you'll have another person there to help with the emotions that will come out. If you're worried about the cost of therapy, think of how much a divorce will cost, and not just in terms of money, but also the toll it will take on you and your son. You say you still love your husband. That's a good sign. So go get help. If you go to church or something like that, ask your pastor or leaders if there is a couple that does couples counseling. My husband and I always take any marriage courses or classes that come up in our church, even when things are going great, because we want to be prepared for when things get rough, and those times will come. It happens to the best of us. The people that make it through the happiest are the ones who are willing to fight for what they've built together. Don't give up. You have to fight for your family. If you give up now, you may miss out on some really amazing moments in the future. Go find help immediately. I promise, you will never regret it. (p.s. -if it helps, I've been married 12 years, and even though I've never cheated I understand the desire. Every woman experiences it, but you don't have to act on it)

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cloudy_conscience answered Thursday June 3 2010, 9:49 pm:
Woah, not to be rude, but are you saying that you are cheating on your husband?! Honestly, if that is what you are saying no this is not okay. It really isn't fair to your husband, it seems to me like you are feeling like you are missing out on all those guys that you didn't get to have sex with. I think you should consider yourself lucky that you found a guy that really loves you, didn't use you for sex, and you didn't have to sleep with a number of guys to find them.
Now if you and your husband have discussed this and decided to sleep with other people while married then that is your own business and thats fine, but if you are doing it behind his back I really don't think its okay. Would you want him looking for sexual favors from other women? If you want something different, talk to him about it. Maybe you can try toys, different positions, or more partners as a couple[swinging}. But discuss it as a couple, at least out of respect to him and your son. Communication is the biggest thing in a marriage, talk to him about feeling unsatisfied and maybe you can work something out as a couple that works for the both of you.
Now, I am married and I am 19, my husband is the 2nd man that I have slept with and man am I thankful for him. He is an amazing guy and I love him more than he will ever know, I am his first :) You got married young and are beginning to feel as though you are missing something, it actually happens alot. But if you want your marriage to work then you have to talk to him about this.
Hope I Helped & Good Luck :)

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