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Depression. Bipolar. ?
There's something wrong with me. I always cry, just yesterday a guy yelled at me and told me to shut up and I cried to hard I had to leave the room. I hate large crowds, and feel uncomfortable always. I have mood swings, but not like one minute to the next, more like one day I feel like I'm on top of the world- next I can barely get out of bed. Mostly though, I have to modivate myself to get out of bed thinking of reasons to go to school. I've tried thinking of happy thoughts, I've tried setting goals of happiness to achieve and nothing is working. I try so hard to be happy, and I never seem to be. I always ache, and I'm always tired. Even if I went to bed early. Going to bed anyway is impossible because my brain never shuts off. I can drive myself insane hearing the same thought go over and over in my head. I listen to my iPod constantly, always have a headache because I don't like communication.
I also have thoughts... But not what I think is suicidal thoughts more of thoughts like if I died no one would miss me and tht I'm not needed.
This isn't normal.
I'm sixteen, and a female. My Mom says it's normal to be moody, but to cry all the time? To never be able to have a genuine smile even when something good has happened.
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yeah, what you're going through is pretty normal. you're sixteen, but not only that, you're a sixteen year old FEMALE. girls evidently have way more hormonal problems than boys, especially during teenage years. it can lead to depression and bipolar disorder. and you sound very depressed. have your mom talk to your doctor about antidepressants, or have her take you to a counselor. they'll talk to you, and if they think that you should be put on meds, they'll talk to your mom and your doctor. now, keep in mind that antidepressants do not make you happy. they just make chemicals in your brain that cause euphoria and depression to even out, so that you'll function more normally.
and don't fret! you're most definitely not the only one going through this. i've been acting like that for almost 3-4 years, and now i'm seeing a counselor for it. it actually does help to have someone to talk to on occasion that doesnt judge.
good luck, and take care.
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Your age shouldn't give it an automatic "miss", It should still be taken seriously. I was 13 when I first started experiencing exactly what you wrote. I even got so angry for no reason that every noise irritated me and I had to walk back and forth to control my anger. I'm now 19 and been on lexapro for almost 2 years, before then I took other medication and been in therapy.
Your situation does sound like depression and maybe even mild case of bipolar, but since there are no tests to say whether you're bipolar or not, you'd have to talk to your doctor and explain what you have done here and he will go through some options with you, and one of them could be to try medication(if you want and your mother agrees). I know how you're feeling, trust me, it sucks big time to feel that way all the time, so go talk to your doctor and even organise to see a counsellor.
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