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serious question for MATURE columnists ONLY
i don't care how old you are, but please only answer this question if you feel mature enough to do so. It is not anything bad, but I'd just rather not have an answer that i can't put to use. I'm a 19 yr old woman. I am in love with my ex-boyfriend. I have known him since I was 16 and I still feel for him the same way I did when I first met him. We broke up (his idea, not mine). I thought things were going fine. Time has been able to heal a lot of my wounds, and I understand why the break up happened now. i am not going to write the whole story because I just need an answer. However, you get the idea. I HAVE CHANGED! I'm still the same girl he use to know... BUT, I am not the girl he broke up with. I no longer get upset over little things. I am in college and so is he. We ended up in one of the same classes by pure chance b/c we both took the class before. (he failed it and i dropped it)... so it's pretty crazy we ended up in the same one! But, I know he loves me. He loves me but the guilt of breaking up with me for a bad reason is overwhelming him. He's afraid to go back to my family (for them to be mad at him). I understand. But, they have forgiven him and they love him too. He needs to know it's okay to come back. But, I can't just go up to him and say that. It's kind of weird for me to just say that. But, I know for sure he loves me. We have mutual friends and a lot of his friends are my family members, so I KNOW. But, he is overcome by his guilt to the point where he can't talk to me. I think if I just went up to him and gave him a hug, things would be better. It's a good start, at least. But, how can i do this without making it awkward... how can i just give him a hug after class? what's an opening line i can use to talk to him?! than you and i really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. God bless you.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You need to tell him pretty much exactly what you told us here.
It IS going to be awkward. There is no magic spell you can cast to make something that is very emotionally charged and difficult, any less emotionally charged and difficult.
Don't try to script out how everything will happen. Don't pretend that is will be easy, or that anything you can will make it easier.
I wouldn't go quite as far as Wiity with the forced kiss ;) but that kind of direct communication is the right way to go.
Man up, admit its going to be hard, realize it isn't going to get easier if you wait, and walk up to him and say "Hi. I'd really like to have coffee with you and talk. When are you free?" or something to that effect.
Set a date and time right away, so neither of you can chicken out. Take time beforehand to relax and dress in a way that makes you feel confident. Meet him, say hello, talk about your lives and what you are up to and when your mouth starts running away with all the things you want to say, let it go.
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This is really simple. Probably really hard too.
Ask him to dinner. Tell him you have things to talk about. Go somewhere you can have a nice meal and a quiet conversation. And be effing honest.
It's going to be awkward. If you do it now, or do it later. Look at it from another perspective.
Every day you wait is another day he's convinced that you hate him on some level and look at him as scum, is another day harder for him to say anything.
Do BOTH of you a favor and speak up tomorrow.
And a hug? He's an ex whom you want to get back together with and love, and you say you're sure he loves you too.
Drag him somewhere like a stairwell where no one can see, kiss him, and TELL him he's going on a date with you so you two can talk about things unless he wants to physically fight his way free of you. Do not let him go until he agrees.
::This message brought to you by 25 year old men who want girls to be effing honest even when it's awkward::
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I've been through this.... waiting for him to say something to me and stuff... but bottom line, you love him and he loves you, you've known each for so long, are willing to loose what u had with him just because neither of you can speak about it?... just go up to him and talk to him.. SO WHAT if it feels weird cause your going up to him.... just do it, and I promise you it will be worth it!
Hope I helped ☆...
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