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like a guy who's got issues
i've had a minor crush on a guy for a couple months, we didn't hang out outside of work, just talked a little at the office. I knew he was going through alot. he told me about how he didn't know what to do with girls. he felt that he just gave and gave and when he needed something they didn't care about how he felt or what he needed. (which is something i've experienced as well... its very discouraging and you begin to think that there are no good people n the world)
he also is in the military and hates his job with a passion... he feels that it is a waste of his talents. he says "i've owned two businesses and employed over 500 ppl, yet they don't trust me to do the simplest tasks because of my rank" ... i was retired from the military because of the extremely OVERWHELMING anxiety i experienced from these SAME feelings.
just knowing what he was going through made me like him even more because not to long ago i was going through the EXACT same thing.
also...after spending 3 years as a lesbian because of bad experiences with guys... we slept together very soon after starting hanging out. I forgot how different sleeping with a man is. I wanted friendship... something casual, that grows naturally with time and when both people are ready... but sex made me scared and feel like i had to be important in his life or i would become a sex object... so i told him we cant do that any more. he agreed, and said he'd still like to hang out.
I still really like him, he's a super sweet guy who's going through a lot. i dont know that i'm ready for something serious... and for sure he isn't either. I think friendship is a good option because I've been where he is... but how do i separate my feelings for him from the friendship? or should i?
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I think you stick to just being friends for now. Get to know him well and make sure he isn't handing you a sob story for sympathy. I hate to say it but
he wouldn't be the first guy to get in a woman's britches by using the poor pitiful me story.
If after couple of months he seems like a great guy instead of just a whiner, then you can pursue a relationship with him if you still want to.
You don't have to separate your feelings for him. Just make sure what you are feeling isn't just empathy. That would be a natural emotion for you to be having since you see a lot of yourself in his situation.
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Just because the sex made it feel wierd, it doesn't mean that you can't be together. Go with you feelings, if they say i like him then go for it, if they say this is too wierd, then just be friends. i'm sure he will understand.
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