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fighting more with my husband
Hello i asked a question about a month ago about my husband leaving for Afghanistan and how i was super emotional. He leaves in a few weeks and I've been noticing we've been not really fighting but arguing a lot more than we usually do, even about little things. I feel like I'm the one disagreeing more and in a sense causing the start of the "fight" Can anybody explain to me why this is happening? I know you don't know our relationship but we've always had a very strong and open one. Its just these past couple weeks everything is building up on me, stress, emotions etc. why am i taking it out on him? I dont want to fight with him as he leaves :( Somebody help!
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It sounds like your angry. Not at him but at the situation. That you don't want him to go, but you know that he has too. If I were you I would sit him down and explain that your getting into fights with him because you're basicly mad that hes leaving you. Just let him know that you don't want to fight anymore, and you want your last few days together to be fight free.
-E
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Hello Fighting more with my Husband,
What you are describing is a natural reaction to fear of something. When couples are short on money, they fear being unable to pay the bills, so they fight more. It is the leading reason couples divorce in the US. So your reaction to him leaving is normal. He is probably dealing with a greater fear of leaving than you are. He is the one that is going to be putting his life on the line for our so called 'Freedom'.
I have told you previously that you need to focus on being his stable foundation. I explained to you that being a military wife is no easy task. Buck up and be a woman, after all, you are adult enough to get married. I believe you are adult enough to handle this!
He only has a few weeks left. Treat him as if he were a king, and bow to his every desire before he leaves. When you feel the argument coming on, stop it before it starts.
You are the woman, his wife and you control your household. You are the one that will keep the house running while he is gone, and while he is home. It is you who will provide that comfortable serenity, a place he can relax, and get away from the outside world. Do not make his last few weeks miserable for him. Don't give him a reason to want to leave, or stay away. Do not let him leave with memories of you fighting. He will have days and nights to miss you, and if all he remembers is the arguing, other women will look better to him.
He may love you, but if a man feels abused or neglected, they will find someone that will make them feel the opposite. He is going to be away for a long time right? His visual memory of you will fade after a few months over there, and if all he remembers are the arguments, you are in trouble. You need to have some sexy glamor shots taken and make sure he keeps them in his wallet. Then you need to be his concubine until he leaves. Trust me, you need your bonds with him to be extra strong before he leaves. Think of it as a shield of protection against faded love. He is going to be spending days and nights with other military members, some of them are women members too. You need to have a positive impact on him before he leaves, and remain a positive and dominant presence in his life while he is away.
Taking on his chores is that part I told you about being a tough job. Make a list of the things you need to do for him and get them done! You can handle this, I know it! Trust me, I am an Empath.
Good luck! You know where to find me!
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Sometimes when people are upset about something or stressed,they deal with it in anger or arguing and they usually take it out on the person who made them upset in the first place. Its completely natural and happens all the time. You're hurting and you will really miss him, and you will have all these responsibilities,and he'll be gone, and you don't know what he'll be doing there away from you,and you'll be worried and alone, its all emotions running through your mind, so making you tense and stressed out. You should try to calm down, i don't know for how long he's gonna be there in Afghanistan, but he'll be back and everything will be back to normal and everything will be okay. So basically, you have to calm down and be responsible and big about this and mature (and i'm saying this with all do respect) so you'd be able to handle all that is yet to come and all the responsibilities you have,so he'd be proud of you when he comes.
Try talking to him, apologizing about all the little fights or arguements, tell him how you feel and how you're hurting and upset, and that's why you act this way, and he'll understand i promise, i bet he already knows how you feel, he can feel you and he's probably upset himself and will worry very much about you, so you see, both of you are in this together, so you should stick together and get through this, but fighting and arguements and getting it out on each other is not gonna make things right or any better.
So talk things over and try to make things calm and diplomatic, so it wouldn't end up with him leaving while you are in this huge fight.
Hope i helped, if you need anything else, please feel free to contact me.Best of luck! And safe trip for your husband!
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well this is just my opinion.i rreally think deep down you dont want him to leave.i think that your building up all this emotion about him going to afghanistan and leaving you all alone.it could be that your PMS'n,hormonal.it could be anything but the main goal is to try and stop this.
maybe whenever you feel your angry dont jump to conclusions so quickly.stop take a second to think about the situation and ask yourself is this really worth the arguement?i mean hes going away for a while and do you really want him to feel like hes has to come back to you because hes married to you or would you rather want him to miss you and want to come back to you?the more you argue the more your pushing him away.theres only so much a person can take...just remember love is human,if you dont feed it then it will die.now go up to him and give him a big kisss before its too late
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