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True unconditional love
Hi I am new to dateing I am 15 and my girlfriend is 14. I trueley and unconditionaly love my girl and I want to do everything to make her happy. She says her last boyfriend was abusive to her and that she was pushed around and beat up (trust me I will get him back for it 10 times worse if I ever get my hands on him). Anyway she says she realy loves me also but every time I put my arm(s) around her she doesent get close to me instead she frezes in her position. She says it's because she's still geting used to me being close to her and she says not to worry. I told her "dont be afraid to get close to me just because I'm new to you" I love it when wer close and when I hold her in my arms. She tells me not to worry and that she will adjust to me and stuff but I wanted to know how I could make her more comfortable in my arms and how I can get her to automaticaly be close to me when ever I'm around her. I am a verry atractive and popular kid and their is no reason I can see why she wouldent want to get close to me. Any advice is verry much apreciated and girls please tell me what you think also. Every bit of advice helps. Thanks.
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you need to give her time. When someone is in an abusive relationship, it affects them alot. If you truly 'love' her, then you will give her time to adjust, if she freezes, dont force yourself on her, and dont make her calm down. She will calm down, and relax when she see's fit. hope i helped :)
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The best thing to do, and probably the only thing is to give her time, and as much time as she needs, cause its probably really hard for her and she's been through alot, and i'm sure that if her boyfriend really used to do that to her, than she'll have trouble trusting people and she'll freak everytime some one touches her and stuff, but she's strong, cause some girls tend to just stop dating and have major trust issues and stuff, but seeing that she's with you and she's making an effort, just give her time and understand how hard it is on her, and during this time, be with her and show her how she can trust you by simply understanding her and being their, and just don't rush things, maybe she's not ready to you know, physically touch and stuff, maybe just hold hands,you know. And usually when someone is pressured, cause she's pressured by you, cause she knows that you want to do this and that and take her in your arms and stuff, and she not doing that pressures her, but if you give her space, she'll come to you and she'll act on her own.
Hope i helped, if you need anything else, please feel free to contact me.Best of luck!
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