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he was my bestfriend now what are we?
Alright so theres this boy I have known since I was in 1st grade, We have been best friends ever since until this one day me and him got really close and we looked to other people as if we were dating and we went to this place called syms hotsprings, we went swimming but we were with all these other people two and we got dared to make out. I said okay not thinking it would hurt our friendship. after we were done playing truth or dare we were fine we sat by eachother and stuff we talked, in the way home i sat with him and this other guy and we just talked and stuff but then a week later at school he didnt talk to me I acted as if everything was fine but he wouldnt talk to me so or even make eye contact with me.. all I am asking is how do regain that friendship to where we are cool again! can you give me some advice. Please. =]
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
just ask him why is he mad with you. there's a possibility he might be acting weird due to the kiss. but if he waited a week before acting all distant and stuff, i think he's probably mad about something else. but dont ignore the problem. it's hard to find a long-time friendship like yours.
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I sincerely doubt that he's angry with you.
What's probably going on? You kissed your best friend, and it destroyed whatever denial he had built up about being attracted to you.
This is about the most common opposite sex friends story in the history of the world. You grew up together, but now that you're reaching ages where relationships and sexual attraction are regular features of your life and the lives of those around you he's probably realizing that he's alot more into you in alot more ways than just friends, and he's trying to figure out how to deal with it.
He's wondering if you said OK because you like him or if it meant nothing to you, he's wondering if he should forget whats going on in his head or if he should ask you out.
I can tell you this. You've crossed a line and you can't go back. Opposite sex friendships don't usually work all that well at your age unless you're both completely unattracted to each other. When one person develops feelings, the relationship either becomes dating and romance or slowly tears itself apart as he begins to resent you for not liking him the way he likes you.
So, you've got some things to think about. Are you attracted to him? Did you get anything out of making out with him? If not, start looking at other guys, the easiest way to keep the friendship is to get yourself a boyfriend, and to encourage him to get a girlfriend. If one or both of you are dating, he doesn't have time to be interested.
Also keep in mind that this won't really go away. If you two stay friends into your 20s, find yourselves both single, there's a really good chance he's still going to be interested. You've known each other forever, so you're already somewhat a part of each other's lives. He's attracted to you, so unless you become a total bitch for some reason that's probably not going away either.
On the other hand, if you're avoiding attraction because you want to save the friendship, or if you're attracted to him and want to go out with him, you've still got some things to think about.
Relationships which start at your age almost never lead to 50th anniversaries and grandkids. You're both young, in five years you'll be completely different people from who you are now, and the same goes for five years after that. You don't really reach fully formed until your mid to late 20s generally.
Thats alot of adaptation, conflict, and honestly alot of immaturity for your relationship to survive. Because regardless of how mature you are now, you'll be alot more mature in 5 years, and you'll look at alot of the things you did and think "God that was stupid/petty". And those things you look back on with chagrin will cause strain on the relationship. Avoiding romance now would well save your overall relationship and your ability to like each other at least as friends in the long run.
On the other hand again, if you DO like him and you try the cautious road, he could fall for someone else, and then you're the friend who wants more.
You've hinted that you aren't into him that way, but I gave you both options because you might find that changes with time. Every option has its benefits and draw backs, its up to you to figure out what's best in this situation because you know him and know yourself. Good luck with it all, if you have anything else feel free to send me a question.
Either way, you do need to at least sit him down alone and talk to him. Ask him whats up, and tell him you miss having him around and you don't understand what you did to upset him. Be calm and gentle about it, just ask him to talk to you until he does.
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Dear He was my bestfriend now what are we?
You say that you have been 'best' friends since the first grade. Then you should be able to ask him straight up, "Are you mad at me for some reason?" If this guy is worth the friendship, then stop wondering about it and ask him. If you love his friendship, and he loves yours, as long as you are completely honest with each other, there should be no problem.
I do have to ask if he has a girlfriend? Maybe a new girlfriend, someone you have not met, but is jealous of your relationship with him. There are so many possibilities as to why he would not make eye contact with you. He could be ashamed of what happened between you, and not sure how to handle the situation. The best thing is to talk to him about it. Call him, text him, write him or e-mail, anything that communicates your concern for the distress your friendship seems to be in right now.
This is the best advice I can give you, based on the information you have given me. I almost want to say that there is something missing here. Did you hit it off with another guy while your friend was witness? Maybe he likes you for more than a friend and is embarrassed, or feels threatened by another guy.
The only way you will find out what's up, is to ask!
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