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Dealing with grief
A close relative ended her life a few months ago after struggling with chronic pain and depression.
Losing her was one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with in my sixteen years of life.
I find myself a little lost at times, and feel as though there's no one I can really talk to about it.
Every now and then, I'll think that I'm okay, that everything's fine, but it's not. I go back to four months ago, that feeling of hopelessness and I just break down again and cry. I cry for my cousin, and I cry for the rest of her family that she left behind.
But I have to cry in secret. I feel ridiculous. Why?
Is it strange of me to still feel like this after four months? I feel like my parents get annoyed with me when I bring it up to them, so I don't.
When I'm not doing anything, my mind instantly wanders to her, and I'm constantly looking at her Facebook page even though I know she's not actually there anymore.
I get scared sometimes too about losing another relative or a friend. Anytime someone says "Ugh, I'm so depressed", I get angry. Because they don't even know the meaning of that word. But I have to be secretive about it, because I feel like everyone expects that I've already moved on from it. But it's hard. I'm struggling.
If I ever bring her up to talk about with a friend, they change the subject very quickly or else don't say anything at all. And they change the subject to these trivial things that don't matter.
And I can't talk to my extended family either because I feel like they think I don't have any major reason to be so sad about it. Because I've never been that close to any of them. But I was close to the one I lost. :(
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
What you are feeling is normal. There really isn't any sort of time line saying you have feel better by
a set time.
Here is a site that may help with questions you are having.
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Hello there.
I know exactly what you are going through. I lost my grandpa only 6 months ago. He was only 58 and the healthiest person alive. He collapsed at work and had a major brain bleed which led to his death. We watched him get weaker and weaker for 30days before his life ended. My grandparents raised me from a baby.
There isn't really a right or wrong way of 'getting over' a death or a loss of a person. There are no rules for such thing. Everyone finds it very different to handle these sorts of situations.
Some find it easy to talk about, some shut themselves in a little ball and others have anger issues.
There are different stages of grief and everyone reacts differently. It can't be controlled. it can't be forced.. but it can be helped.
I know you said you think your parents get annoyed when you talk about it, but they need to be there for you. If you can't talk to them.. who else? You need to sit down with them and tell them. You can't be expected to deal with it on your own.
Trust me.. the longer you wait to talk about it. The worse you'll become. If there is any advice that I could give anyone. It would be about this. Please talk to you parents. Who knows... they might not know how to approach you on this situation, especially if you and the deceased were close.
Don't shut yourself out. Open yourself up! You can't live your life in secrecy! Believe me!
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lets just start off saying, you have every right to feel the way you do, and dont let anyone tell you different or that its wrong to feel like that, its not.
its not strange, let me repeat it, NOT strange, not one bit, to still feel like this after quite some time. when my grandmother died 2 years ago, i was in grief for about a year, and it really took a toll on me because a month after she died, i had my bat mitzvah, a big responsibility that i had to undertake. i got through it, and my family was there to help me through every part of it. so, please please please talk to your parents. i promise you, your parents WILL NOT get annoyed with you if you talk with them about it. they want you to feel better, and sometimes talking about it is really the key to getting "better". ask them to take you to the cemetery where she is buried so you can spend a little time there. im sure they wouldnt mind at all.
you have every right to get mad at your friends for saying that, because your right, they dont know what depressed feels like you do. tell them how you feel, and if they're real friends, they will take your feelings into consideration. they might change the subject because they dont know how to help you. they dont know what to say to make you feel better. and they might be afraid to say something that might offend you by accident.
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