Question Posted Saturday February 20 2010, 9:17 pm
Well , me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year . &+ He says he loves me and stuff, &+ He got a condom . He wants to have sex, and his birthdays coming up... But idk what to do? Im still kinda intimidated by us having sex. Its not like im scared . It's just im nervous to. Idk what to do or how to do it? Help !
schochie16 answered Sunday February 21 2010, 6:53 pm: Its up to you. Don't have sex with him just because he wants you too. It does not matter if he bought a condom and is ready, if you are not don't do it. Ask anyone, even people on here, that people regreat having sex with the person they did/at the age they did/at the time they did etc. It is a huge decision. Not one to be made by him. I understand that you are not scared. Maybe-if anything-for his birthday flat out tell him I am not having sex but you can still dress up sexy and just have fun and do things with out totally having sex. THIS IS TOTALLY ONLY IF YOU WANT TO. He does not get to chosose when you guys have sex. You both do as a couple. Talk this out with him. If he is going to pressure you into this, he is not the guy for you.
adviceman49 answered Sunday February 21 2010, 11:52 am: I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
There is a very good reason you feel the way you do. At age 13 you are way too young to be having sexual intercourse. While you may be physically capable emotionally you are not ready and the feelings you are having is your mind and body sending out stop signals.
Your boyfriend on the other hand is struggling with the raging affects of puberty on his body and the need to relieve the sexual tension he is dealing with. That tension can be relieved without sexual intercourse though either masturbation in the privacy of his bedroom or having a girlfriend masturbate him which is more commonly referred to as a hand job. A hand job is something you might be more emotionally able to handle at age 13.
Before you make any decision as to what you are going to do there is a Website I would like you to visit. This site is dedicated to those who are planning to have sexual intercourse for the first time. The site will not answer the questions you have but will pose questions you may not have thought of: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location).
Two things you must make sure your boyfriend understands. He must use a condom and he needs to know how to properly wear it. Second and most important; If at any time you decide to stop and you say to stop or say no, stop means stop and no means no. He is to immediately stop and not pressure you to continue.
My hope is that you will not have sex with your boyfriend for several more years until you are emotionally old enough to handle it. I would also hope, and this is a big one, that you would sit down with your mother and talk with her about boys and sex. Yea I know it’s hard to think about talking to your mom about this stuff. But remember mom was once 13 and actually had to go through what you are now going through. I would suggest say to mom that you really need to have a girl/girl talk and could the two of you go someplace together away from the house. Believe me when mom hears that you need a girl/girl talk she will know what you want to talk about and I’m sure she will make the time. [ adviceman49's advice column | Ask adviceman49 A Question ]
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