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Prom Dilemma
In advance: I get that this "dilemma" may seem ridiculous, but it's been bothering me. If you're only here to be sarcastic, move along. First off, I'm a girl. I've been thinking a lot lately about my HS Prom for some reason, and how it's going to work out for me.
Let's just say that I will not have a date. Not a lot of people really go to Prom with dates at my school, most people just go with large groups.
I mainly hang out with three other girls who, let's just say, are very anti-school event and pretty much everything-event. They hardly ever even go out. Which means I hardly ever hang out with them outside of school. We have a lot of fun when we're together, and we're good friends. But for some reason it never seems like they want to chill on the weekends.
My best friend, Jane, is heavily involved in student gov't so she is on an acquaintance-level with a lot of people. Plus Jane has a friend, Sue who has a lot of friends that Jane kind of knows. Jane will likely be going to the Prom with Sue and her friends. One of the friends that Sue will be going with in this group is Mary, a girl whom I have personally been friends with for a long time but only hang out with outside of school. (Yes, I'm sorry this is confusing.) The thing is: I do know Jane, Sue, and Mary. But I feel uncomfortable with asking to go along with them to the Prom, because chances are they won't bother to see if I want to go with them. Personally Sue and Mary are nice but VERY cliquey. And I could be wrong, my best friend Jane might not even go with Jane and Mary's group of friends (probably about 10).
Now, one of my anti-social event friends, Kate, has been insinuating things about her prom dress every so often. For all this time in HS, she has been saying how Prom is stupid and how she doesn't want to go, and I've been the one trying to convince her to go because, of course, I want people to go with! And this is where it gets even more confusing. Paula, who is a member of the Sue/Mary clique knows Kate on an acquaintance-level and for some reason to me (though I don't know for sure) it seems like Kate is planning on going with the Sue/Mary group because of the way she talks to Paula. (I don't know how I know this exactly, but... it just seems like it. I could be wrong though.) The bad part about it is that I don't think that Paula likes me. At all. She's always been very sarcastic to me. First of all, it kind of hurts me that Kate wouldn't even want to think of me first to go to Prom with me and the other two girls we usually hang out with at school (if they even want to go...). But, I could be wrong... Kate might be thinking that she and I will still go together.
AGH. This was long, and whiney-sounding... but, my final question is: What should I do? I can't go to Prom alone obviously and I can't go with just one person. I feel weird about asking Mary if I can go with their group to the Prom because I know some folks in their group don't like me much. But I think that my two best friends, Jane and Kate, are going with this clique. I feel like I'm just going to end up alone, not even going to Prom.
But the fact of the matter is that I don't even CARE about Prom that much. I just want to go so that people won't ask me later, "Why didn't you goooooo?" "Where are your Prom pictures?" And then assume I didn't have any friends or a date to go with and start to think I'm a loser. But then I think, maybe by that time I'll be so happy about going to college that I won't care about this petty Prom stuff.
Basically, I'm a socially awkward person. Please help by letting me know what you think.
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dont worry about it .. it's highschool , have fun .. im a high school student myself & if you dont want to go , then dont .. & i am SO socially awkward sometimes too .. dont worry about what people think .
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First of all, take a deep breath. Prom is supposed to be fun. It isn't supposed to be a hair-pulling drama. So relax. Once you are relaxed, you need to look at this realistically:
Prom is for everybody. Who cares what car you ride in, or who walks in the doors with you? You should feel confident enough in yourself that when it comes right down to it, you don't need people linking arms with you while you walk across the dance floor. In other words, you don't have to go with a specific group of people. You can go by yourself.
All of that said, if you would prefer company, go ahead and pick a group to go with. But don't be all worried about whether or not they want you around. Why wouldn't they? You seem to be the type of person that has real self-confidence issues. Stop assuming everybody doesn't want you around and start thinking about the positive qualities that you would bring to the group.
I don't even know you personally, and I can think of a couple that stick out:
1. You are a caring person. I can deduce this by the fact that you seem so concerned with the feelings of everybody else. You seem to be constantly thinking about what other people may be thinking, feeling and wanting. That is nice.
2. You are open to helping your friendships blossom. This is evident when you talk about how you wish you could spend more time with your friends. This shows that you are stronger than they are in terms of understanding what it takes to make a friendship flourish.
3. You are inclusive. While you seem to be worried about other people accepting you, you seem to have no problem accepting others. Your question seems to be all about whether or not your friends want you around. You on the other hand, like pretty much everybody. This level of acceptance is rare to find in a person.
In other words, if your friends have a problem with you going with them to prom, that is a reflection of their own personal weaknesses. It has nothing to do with you, or yourself as a person. So quit feeling like you are imposing! And stop thinking that you have to go with whoever wants you to come the most. Anybody would be lucky to have you.
Who do YOU want to go with?
By the way, Valentine's Day is coming up :) If you liked my advice and would like to return the favour, please visit my blog and let me know what you think about my Valentine's Day article!
www.wecareaboutlove.blogspot.com
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