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Divorce


Question Posted Sunday January 31 2010, 9:07 pm

Hi i am a 16 year old female babysitter. the family i am currently babysitting for have a 4 year old son and they are getting divorced. this is not only changing when and how long i babysit for them but it is also affecting me on a personal level. the father knows that i am also really good friends with the mom, so he is using me as the mddle man so to speak by telling me mean and negative things about the mom, fully knowing that i am going to turn around and tell the mom everything he has said. i don't know how much longer i can deal with him being so negative about her all the time. i am on the verge of dropping his end of the job.

What should i do?!?!


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dpsbar3 answered Monday February 1 2010, 1:02 pm:
Well,
I feel that you shouldnt get drug into the middle of their situation. This may sound a little rude to do but for your sanity...next time he begins the mud slinging just put your hand up in a stop motion and say " Please STOP!"..."I don't think this is any of my business." and just walk a way. It will be a shock to both of you but it will stop him from making you feel uncomfortable.
Hope it helps.

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Gemguy1 answered Sunday January 31 2010, 9:26 pm:
Wow, you are in quite the mess! Well, you need to remember something, this is their divorce not yours.

First and foremost, you need to tell him to drop it, that you do not want to hear any more about her and that it makes you uncomfortable getting this involved in their situation.

Play to him, tell him you have certain loyalties to both and you want to do a good job babysitting and being a good friend (you know where your loyalties really lie).

You need to take a deep breath and think for a second, you are still in control of your life. Their life is in chaos right now, but you need to back up a bit and just be a supportive friend and a be the baby sitter when needed. You are not a pawn or a middle man and you should not be used as such.

When you leave that house, it all stops at the door mat! It's time to get back into YOUR life and live happy and get back into what you like to do. Be happy this is not your mess, you can still keep it that way, try not to get any more involved than you already are. Hope this helps! Todd the Gem Guy

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