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he says he wants to be friends, but he won't talk to me.


Question Posted Friday January 29 2010, 2:35 pm

This guy I was together with said he thought he had liked me and that he wanted a serious relationship, but he changed his mind and doesn't want that. Basically, he just wants to hook up and he pretty much dumped me for a slut. He said he wanted to be friends still and I want to, but he won't talk to me! He ended it 2 weeks ago and I've talked to him twice and I initiated it both times. It wasn't anything big just small talk. He's also a recovering smoker and he'll have mints when he wants a cigarettes. One day, my friend gave me some mints so I gave them to him. He said thanks but that's it. I don't get it. He'll say hi to me in school but he won't talk to me but he wants to be friends. Why is he taking no action?

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Gemguy1 answered Sunday January 31 2010, 3:39 am:
I can honestly tell you, you are wasting your time. Why continue to pursue something that isn't there?
Even if he can't really just come out and say it, he's telling you "he's not feeling this". You are young, there is a whole beautiful world out there for you to enjoy, let him go on his merry way. You can go and find someone who is respectful and worthy of you. Darling, let him be and go out and enjoy life, don't worry about such things, he is not worth all of the negative energy.

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solidadvice4teens answered Friday January 29 2010, 8:37 pm:
He's just not that in to you. It's plain and simple. He's a bit of a coward by not telling you this directly but perhaps he thinks he's sparing you a real let down by having you figure that out.

He doesn't want to be your friend or boyfriend. Based on what you've said I think he was trying to use you for sex (hooking up) and nothing else. When you were too smart to go for that he found the other girl and forgot about you.

Also, he's bad news because he doesn't know what he wants in terms of relationships or friendships or anything of the sort. If was truly interested in you would you be getting the cold shoulder? You definitely don't want a wishy-washy boyfriend or a "so-called friend." I'd be cordial in the halls but move on to someone who truly values you and doesn't act like he does with you.

It's up to him to approach you now and for you to move on. If a friendship happens later (which I don't see in the forecast) than great but don't wait around for him to figure stuff out. I think he's sending a clear message that he's not interested in you as a friend or otherwise. And it hasn't a thing to do with smoking or not. He's just a jerk.

Remember your relationship ended for a reason and he found someone to hookup with a bad reputation. Do you really want him in your life when he's treated you like shit for a long time and only seems interested in hooking up and ditching?

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OhMyLucyDarling answered Friday January 29 2010, 7:26 pm:
Dropping hints to you that obviously he is isn't interested in being friends with you. Friends don't just ignore each other and if he really was a friend or wanted to be a friend he'd act like it. He isn't worth your time

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Razhie answered Friday January 29 2010, 6:01 pm:
Because he doesn't actually want to be your friend.

At least, not yet, or else, not the way you think of ‘friends’.

Or maybe, the only kind of 'friends' he wants to be in the kind that occasionally says hi in the hall. More acquaintances, then friends.

Just let it go. There are a million reasons why he isn’t trying to maintain a friendship. You’ll never know which ones are his. The only thing you can know for sure is that he doesn’t want to.

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