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break ups!
so my long distance boyfriend broke up with me today.
i kinda saw it coming becuase he wanted a "break" three days ago and didn't talk to me for those three days
but I guess I was expecting him to come back to me like every other time.
im in love with him and I'm completing heart broken.
he wasn't a bad breakup at all actually.
he told me he just couldn't deal with the distance and its just too hard for him right now and he can't do it.
i asked him if we could still be friends and he said that he was hoping we can be, so I'm happy about that. but I just wish we were still together
our distance isn't far at all though if you really think about it. its about 6 hours away at the most. and every weekend if we both drove 3 hours we could make it work.
but he always chose everyone else before me. it felt like everything was more important then me. but he always insists he loves me more and all that.
i understand his decision and I respect him for that but I don't understad why he decided after 6 months this isn't going to work out?
also I asked him if we would ever be together again and he said maybe idk. but I believe that he just said that to be nice.
also I told him to just talk to me whenever he wants to then ( as friends) and he said ok bye.
i really want to say something that would maybe make him change his mind. but a part of me doesn't want to contact him at all. I want to wait and see if we trys talking to me first.
what should I do. or say to him if I decide to talk to him?
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I think you answered your own question in a way. You say that you believed he always put stuff in front of you...maybe it was time to end it. I was in a relationship for a year and a half it was "long distance"...which was ONLY an hour (I don't believe that to be distance). My point is, is that both people in the relationship need to want it to work not just one. Nothing you say or do is going to make him change his mind he is going to change his mind if he wants to. I know you don't want to hear it but this is true! I don't talk to my ex now who was my best friend before we started dating but that is because of my own reasons. In the end its his loss!
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Please don't bother trying to talk to him too much. He's not that into you. "Can we be together in the future, IDK" Thats not a good answer at all. Move on, if he really loves you like he said, he wouldn't have broken up with you. He puts others before you, be happy you didn't waste more than 6 months on him. You guys are long distance already and he needs a break, that makes no sense. You try to call him, he doesn't answer, he won't talk to you- he probably thinks your clingy and he's saying "WE'RE OVER" as "nicely" as he can without hurting you, which has failed. I've read 3 of your posts, and I know it's hard but you'll get over him someday.
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I don't think he decided to wait 6 months to tell you it wasn't going to work. If he waited half a year he was probably hoping it would but in the end it just didn't.
I can't speak for this guy but if that was me I would have a problem with 6 hours away. When your with someone and you love them you want to see them any day you want and at any time. In those times when you need someone most you just want them to be with you in 10 minutes, not 6 hours.
From the way you've sort of made this guy sound, he seems like a genuine guy that does love you and does put you before other things. He tried to make the relationship work and when it didn't, he tried one more time with the break. When that failed he didn't want to lead you on in a dead end relationship so he ended it before you got seriously hurt. Sometimes things that seem easy to you are not so easy for another person, so maybe he was putting you before everything else but he just couldn't handle it.
Also having to do this ritual while first it may be romantic and necessary, it becomes a chore which brings tension into the relationship. Not just that but it means on the weekend, the only days he probably has to himself, he'd have to miss out on little things like hanging with his friends. That's not him putting other people before you, it's just him being a boy as boys like and do need time alone with their friends.
If your good friends then stay friends. Maybe one day you'll be together again but that would be whenever you meet again. Keep talking to him because he sounds like a nice guy and its always good to keep a nice friendship with ex's instead of them ending horribly where you never speak to them again.
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