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Just recently had sex.
I’ve been with my boyfriend, 4 months, and lost my virginity 5 days ago. I’m scared outta my mind. I as gonna wait until marriage but accidents happen. So im kinda going crazy, I’m just scared. Some advice???
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More and likely you are feeling upset that you had sex and wanted to wait. You still sort of can if you want to go that route. Dont have sex again there are plenty of other things you can do like foreplay you dont have to habe sex. stay strong to prevent it from happening.
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Chances are you're feeling scared because you did the wrong thing and are regretful of it. There's nothing you can do about making a mistake in the past except to not repeat that mistake again.
Engaging in sexual activity, ESPECIALLY when you're not mentally or physically ready, puts you in such a vulnerable state. You can be changed physically as well as mentally. You can develop life-altering hang-ups that prevent you from enjoying life later.
Many young women who engage in sexual relations when they're not ready go through life looking for some sort of attachment to love. They become confused as to why sex doesn't mean love. Just because you have sex with someone doesn't mean you love them or that they love you. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you should have sex with them.
It may also be a good idea to get yourself completely informed before participating in sexual activities again. If you're not completely informed about ALL of the possibilities then you might wind up in the wrong place:
Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
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Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research:
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And here is just something simply for you to read and think about. I read it and thought it was pretty neat and gave some good points:
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Here is also a link on some things about virginity. I think it has some neat points and gives examples to explain what they're talking about:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
You risk STDs/STIs with each sexual contact. These can render you infertile and you won't be able to ever have children. If it doesn't do that, it could hide in you and you could end up spreading it to every partner you ever have without knowing it. Even at that, some STDs can deteriorate the brain and be so severe that they cause a long, painful death years later.
A lot of people have STDs/STIs and don't even know it. Many people don't show symptoms. Even if your boyfriend was a virgin too it doesn't mean he may not have something--babies can be born with STDs and grow up not knowing that their sypmtoms are, well, symptoms!
Here are some amazingly scary facts about STDs currently:
"More than half of all people will have an STD/STI at some point in their lifetime.
The estimated total number of people living in the US with a viral STD/STI is over 65 million. Every year, there are at least 19 million new cases of STDs/STIs, some of which are curable.
More than $8 billion is spent each year to diagnose and treat STDs/STIs and their complications. This figure does not include HIV.
In a national survey of US physicians, fewer than one-third routinely screened patients for STDs/STIs.
Less than half of adults ages 18 to 44 have ever been tested for an STD/STI other than HIV/AIDS.
Each year, one in four teens contracts an STD/STI.
One in two sexually active persons will contact an STD/STI by age 25.
About half of all new STDs/STIs in 2000 occurred among youth ages 15 to 24. The total estimated costs of these nine million new cases of these STDs/STIs was $6.5 billion, with HIV and human papillomavirus (HPV) accounting for 90% of the total burden."
The media feeds us a bunch of stupidity now. We're told that if we use condoms or the pill that we won't get pregnant or have STDs. The media tells us that we should be having sex with as many people as possible to become popular, famous, attractive, and overall liked. The media says that if we love someone that we should have sex and prove this love with that is not at all what we should be doing. We're told that we should give into our urges and that everything will be alright since we can throw away the consequences.
Any way it is, I hope that you realize that the feelings you are having (it is called "regret") are not normal to be having if you are ready and in a healthy situation. Please, try not to repeat a mistake again. Learn your lesson and move on so that you will be able to tell your future husband, "I did make a mistake. It was ONCE and I learned my lesson. I am sorry."
DangerNerd is right. Go get checked out immediately and make sure to continue your follow-ups.
P.S. Four months isn't anything. Please, consider where this relationship is heading if you've already changed your morals so early into things.
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A lot of girls lose their virginity and aren't exactly planning on it. People say your first time is supposed to be special, but in truth it really isn't depending on the person. Typically it's painful, so how is that special? Anyway your next time may not be your first but it can be just as special depending on who you're doing it with. If you choose to wait till marriage to have sex again, then that's up to you just make sure you're ready.
If you're worried about getting pregnant, it's unlikely if he wore protection. Don't worry too much about that, you'll go crazy. Just stand by your decision, don't think of your virginity as something you can't get back because if it wasn't special to you, then you don't have to count it as your first time.
<3
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Hi there,
I am sorry that you have done something that has left you feeling this way. :-(
There are some things you should do:
One: Go to the doctor/clinic and get tested for all known STDs. Doesn't matter what he says about being clean. Even if he hasn't lied to you he doesn't know for sure. Even if he has been tested, there are things that there is no test that works for men.
After the initial test, make sure you go back every 3 months for the first year, then as often as they tell you for the next 3 years. (AIDS doesn't show up right away.)
If you haven't been having regular doctor visits, now is the time to start. HPV (genital warts, no test for men on this one) causes cervical cancer, and it is EXTREMELY common. The earlier cancer is found the better chance you have of living through it.
I am sorry to just put it all out there like this. But these are the facts everyone needs to know when they are in this situation. :(
Don't be ashamed to go to the doctor. If you are old enough to feel like you are ready for sex, you are old enough to talk with a doctor about having sex.
I sincerely hope that you are well and healthy. Please use this experience to make certain you are ready in the future. If you are ok this time (which you won't really know for at least 3 years) nobody gets lucky every time.
Oh, and don't forget to tell the doctor if you have engaged in any other form of sex. You can get STDs from any form of sex, even using condoms. Proven fact.
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