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A hate triangle
I will try to make this sound easy to understand
I have been best friends with this girl (Kelsey) since I was 11 years old and I am 26 now. Kelsey started dating this guy (Tim) 6 years ago. A few months ago Kelsey started lying to me telling me that I was a control freak and when I asked who told her this she hesitated and told me someone who hardly knows me said it. (I know for a fact it was her boyfriend Tim because of out all these years Kelsey never said such a thing about me) anyway it began as that then little by little she kept on lying to me more and more about little things. I stopped speaking to Kelsey for a month, Then I slowly began to speak to her again trusting her a little at a time and the first time I spoke to her again since our arguement she spilled news on me that she was pregnant. I was angry but I tried not to show it I just congratulated her and walked away. Now during this time the reason why I was angry with her is..
1. Kelsey lives at home with her mother who is raising 3 kids and divorced
2. Kelsey is not married
3. Kelsey also can't save money because of her spending habits
A few days later I confronted Kelsey with my feelings that I felt we had gone our seperate ways in life and I as well as her decided to end our friendship. (I was fed up wit her lies and the pregnancy didn't help either) It has been a good 3 months since I last spoke to her and during this time Kelsey had a miscarriage and lost the baby. My mother ran into her recently and she asked about me and wanted my mother to tell me she was asking about me which gives off the impression she wants to continue to talk again. Also if we were she would never hear the end of it from her boyfriend Tim who is not found of me and tells her bad things about me as I witnessed on countless occassions. As he is one of the main reasons we are no longer friends anymore because she has chosen to believe his hurtful words than to try and fix our friendship. Whenever I confronted her about what he said to her she was always defensive or lied about him saying such a thing.
Question:
I'm confused to why she would ask about me if we both agreed to not talk. Do you think I should give her another chance?...How can I trust that she won't let Tim ruin our friendship?
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hes the thing you both are in the wrong you have no reason nor right to judge her you guys been friends for a long time and she cares about you shes going through a hard time but she needs to step up to the plate and be a friends never let a guy take you from your freinds if u want to countiue talking to her do so but make sure she knows that tim doesnt come first and remeber your there to be her friend through thick and thin not to run when things get tuff if you guys want this to work make sure your on the same page
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There doesn't need to be anything confusing about her behavior at this point. She is human, she is curious about you in a totally natural way after such a long friendship, AND she has got a bit of a drama queen streak. So, she engaged in a bit of childish baiting of you through your mother. Meh, people do that.
I think assuming she must want a second chance is a bit presumptuous of you. She might just have wanted you to know how you were doing, and perhaps let you know she wasn't harboring hard feelings and was okay with the fact you still existed. Hell, she might have just been trying to be polite and appear goodhearted to your mother, despite not actually wanting to speak to you at all.
You don't need to 'give her a second chance' because:
Your reasons for ending the friendship are still valid
and She hasn't asked for one
Take a deep and just let this go. I think you are falling prey to your own desire for drama by worrying so much about this almost meaningless incident. If she reaches out to you directly, address that, but stop all these assumptions and worries. They are pointless and unproductive and you are getting yourself worked up about a problem that might not even exist.
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