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Strained Relationship. What should I do?
Okay, so here's my story.
Back in 9th grade (The summer before that, actually) I was dating this girl. We'll call her "Jane".
“Jane” is a year younger than me. She’s an A-B student.
So, anyway. We went out for about a month. We were pretty close. By the end of the summer, right before school started, her best friend told her that she was moving away to Kentucky (Or Kansas, I don't really know anymore). So we through her a big moving away/we'll miss you party. That evening we were sitting on her couch in her basement watching some stupid old movie when she comes out with the whole "I can't be seeing you anymore, I need to be with my best friend before she moves away" thing. I understood (For the most part) and we split up. She said she would always like me. I was pretty upset, since not many girls would even look at me. (Which is weird because I don't look much different and now girls won't leave me alone! Cocky, right?)
Okay, now we go ahead a few years.
So, after that, I went about 3 years single and I met this girl. We'll call her "Judy". She said she liked me, and (I'm pretty sure out of desperation) I said I kind of liked her, too. So we went out for about a month. We weren't very close. But by the end of that month, all I could think about was "Jane". So I told her that I wasn't feeling the "magic". (No, I did not get laid.) I have turned down more relationships than I can even remember. I was getting depressed. Not only could I not look at another girl without seeing "Jane's" face, "Jane" was now seeing a guy that didn't treat her with much respect. (I know, I know. Coming from the ex boyfriend who still likes her.) But he really doesn't treat her with the respect she deserves.
And here's the proof.
I work at the beach in my neighborhood. One day “Jane” comes crying to the beach because she found Mr. Perfect making out with another girl. So, my friend Nick and I were there to comfort her. And yadda yadda yadda she goes on about how he's an ass.
I find out 2 weeks later, she's back with the asshole. And I'm hearing from all of his friends that he's just trying to use her for sex. And other things and so on and so forth.
So, pretty much, I find out this guys a real jerk.
But the fact that she thinks that he's anything more than an angel is beyond me.
Hang in there guys, I'm almost to the question!
Right now I can't live a day without thinking about "Jane". It’s depressing me to the point where I don’t leave my house for months on end. And I really don't know if she knows it or if she even still likes me. I just want her to have what she deserves. If I wasn't right for her, fine. As long as she's not with that jerkass douchebag of a boyfriend she's with now.
My question.
Is there any way I can find out if she still likes me? Or anything I can do to help her find “Mr. Right”? Should I drop little hints? Or should I just tell her straight up? We haven’t been talking much lately, but I want to.
Any information will help!
I really appreciate it!
–Bartol Babich
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
well, first, you clearly are in love with "jane". what i would do in your possition, is try to be with her. become good friends with her, and tell her that your there for her. she definently needs to break up with the dipshit guy. eventually, shell rellize this, you just need to make sure she doesnt get hurt. try to talk to her about this. she may not listen very much if she thinks hes "perfect" but shell relize that he doesnt really care sooner or later.
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I think you should tell her that you are there for her if she ever needs to talk or needs someone to help her "pick up the pieces." There's not much you can say to her more than that, I think. That leaves it open for her to know that you care about her and are there for her any time she wants. I don't see as how you can confess your love to her at this point. She is wrapped up in the other guy. But if you let her know that you care and will be there for her, you are opening the door for her to come to you....and once she does, if she does....you will be able to show her much more about how you feel. But at this point...I think you have to just let her know that "the door is open." Good luck.
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Hey at first you should drop a few little hints and see how she takes it. If nothing happens then go straight to her and ask her what she feels like about you. Then everything will get out of the way. If she doesn't like you, you'll take time to forget about her and see other people =] Hope this helps..
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