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Should I turn her in?
This may be in the wrong category. I wasnt sure which to put it in.
So here is my problem. My friend is 19 and she is married with a one year old girl. Her husband is a total jerk. He is abusive toward her and in fact, he was arrested last week for almost killing her. (Accidently) He was bailed but he will be going back after court. We cant convince her to leave him, but we are hoping she will come to realization when he is gone.
Thats not the problem. The problem is she is not a good mother and this poor baby lives in this horrible and dangerous environment. I really want to call Child Services (or whatever its called) and keep it annonymous. But if she finds out, her and many more people will give me such a hard time with it and she may pass inspections. If I call anonymously will it be kept annonymously or is there a chance I will be found out? What do you think I should do?
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i think you should keep out of that whole situation it has nothing to do with you and unless the baby is in poor condiotions as in doesnt have a bed doesnt get fed and is abused itself then you should call other than that dont. it really has nothing to do with you and if you were in that situation would you like one more thing to go wrong in your life. its her child and taking that away from someone can mess them up for life.
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I think you should. I know you might be worried of everyone giving you a hard time if they find out it was you who turned her in, but it's not yourself you have to worry about. It's the baby.
Your friend may not want to lose her child, but it's just a selfish move for her to keep her child in such an unstable household.
And I'm about 90% sure it's unanimous so she won't find out it was you who turned her in.
I strongly suggest you help that baby by turning your friend in.
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Your friend is only 19. I have to wonder where her parents are in all this. They are the ones to which these sorts of decisions should fall.
CPS cannot reveal the name of thier informant in most cases, so it is normally anonymous by default. It's fine if that is the first question you ask them.
If you are concerned for the childs safety, calling CPS is the right move. If you don't know who to call in your area, you can call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 800-4-A-CHILD and they can connect you.
Frankly though, if there was a domestic abuse issue at home your friend will likely have already had some contact with a social worker or CPS. CPS doesn't sting or bust people. Inspections cover basic things like, is there toliet paper and food in the fridge, and even when they find a problem, they rarely take the children away. In most cases, parents are given support and time to correct the problems.
Call CPS if you feel you need too. Be ready to explain in a great deal of detail exactly what your concerns are: Are there dangerous objects being left in reach? Is the child not be fed or bathed? Are they not getting medical treatment when they are clearly sick?
Remember that, for better or worse, it's legal to be a not so great parent. What is not legal is the stuff that is harmful. That is what CPS will be interested in when you speak to them, and the more details you can give them (dates, number of occurances, exact threats or risks) the more likely they are to follow up on your report.
(There is always a chance you will be found out. Or to be more precise, there is always a chance you'll be blamed, regardless of any facts they do or don't know. That shouldn't be your primary concern in calling CPS. The safety of the child is the primary concern. Think about that first and decide what is right to do. Then deal with how to do the right thing as carefully and quietly as you can.)
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