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dont know what to do
hey..i been struggling for 5 months after my boyfriend broke up with me..i been really sad and dont know what to do :(...
here is my story am sorry if its too long..
ok we we lasted 2 yrs and 2 months going out but then he left to the dominican republic and he cheeted on me overdere with another girl...he posted pictures on myspace and when he came back i confronted him about it..he told me that was his cousin..but i actually got to talk to the girl and she told me that he was her boyfriend.my heart just dropped...i cant believe he actually did this to me because he loved me and he did alot of things for me...now he is here and he tells me to go to his house in the night so his parents wont see me ..but its just to have sex..i dont even want to go because i dont like doing those types of things with him...but its been 5 months since he broke up with me and my heart still hurts..its like its carrying a heavy pain..i cant seem to move on,its just hard for me, i try to let it go and not think about him but its hard, and no i dont go out because i hardly have friends here.am always stuck in my house.but can someone please tell me wat to do or do you guys have a similar story similar to mines..i appreacited .thanks :)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Alright, first of all, you are way better than him. You deserve a guy who loves and treats you with respect. If he cheated on you once, you should let him go. You are nobody's second choice. You have to be their first and only choice. You have to find a boy you deserve, and you do NOT deserve this one. You should not waste your time waiting around for this boy, he is not worth your time and effort. Your heart does not even deserve that kind of pain. He's not worth it. My advice is to get over him and find someone better instead of waiting around thinking that this boy will change.
Honey, you are worth more than all that pain. You need a boyfriend who does not lie to you and puts you as the first girl in his life. Don't wait for this skunkbag of a boy because he is not going to change. He is going to keep hurting you.
I hope my advice helped!
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One of the hardest things about moving on from a relationship that we had a lot invested in is that we like to hold on to those "good" times, however many or few that they might be, and we pass over the really important things, like why we broke up in the first place. You went out with this boy for two years and two months, which is a long time to invest in a relationship. But he was unfaithful, which means that no matter how faithful and true you were to him, he wasn't to you. No matter how much he "said" he loved you, and even if he did love you, he did not care about your feelings or what cheating on you would do to you. He was selfish and was okay with it. When he came back, he only wanted you for sex and he knew you would show up, which further proves his selfish intentions.
It's like I tell people all the time, love is an action, not a feeling. We have feelings all the time. They flutter, they stutter, and they go away. People confuse love with passion. Passion comes with love and can continue if the love is real and stable, but if the passion goes away and there is nothing left, there wasn't love in the first place.
I read something a while back. A man was observing a couple who were in their eighties. They had been married for sixty years. The wife was in declining health, but her husband was a complete invalid, with full Alzheimer's disease. He did not even recognize the woman that he had been married to for sixty years. She lovingly washed him, fed him, and dressed him. She would show him pictures of them together and talk to him. Their relationship was long past the stages of passion and sexual intimacy. It was love that kept the woman taking care of a man who needed her but couldn't remember her. She did it faithfully even when he didn't know her anymore. That is love.
Now where does that leave you? You're young and when you're young, passion comes in every relationship. But it is love expressed in actions that cements the relationship.
The bottom line: He doesn't love you, he loves what you do for him. And you may have loved him and wanted to give him everything, but it was one-sided and those relationships are not fulfilling. We want to love, but we want to be loved.
You are worth loving and you should wait for that person who will show you that they love you, not only when they are with you, but when they are not. Like I said, love is an action. It is how we treat someone, what we do to strengthen the relationship that makes it fulfilling.
Find something else to take your mind off the toxic relationship you had. The good times you had do not overweigh the facts that you were taken advantage of. Besides, the good times were wrapped in selfish desires.
Moving on is a process and it takes time. We go through the same stages of grief with relationships as we do with death. We are sad, we are angry, we try to find ways to get it back, we accept it, and then we move on. Let it happen the way it happens, but don't dwell on it. You can't go back and change the outcome.
The bottom line: It will happen when it happens. Find ways to express what you're feeling. Listen to songs. Cry. Write about it. Then pick yourself up and move on. The point is to look forward for that person you will meet who will show you that he loves you and doesn't want anything back from you. Someone who loves you won't require you to do anything for them. They will want to do for you. You will find them. But move on from this bad relationship and prepare yourself for that person who will come along. It's worth the wait.
I hope this helps you and I hope it all works out!
-Charlotte
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something like this happen to me too..and I know its hard to believe someone that claimed that was in love with you could do something like this...you shouldn't let it get to you because there isn't a point of being sad if hes living it up...if you really want to stop feeling depressed you need to stop feeling sorry about yourself you need to say ok things happen and this is one of those things and i need to face it and get over it...because feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to get you anywhere...even if you don't have much friends you should still hang out with the ones you do have if not spend more time with your family or just take days for yourself..go shopping anything that you want to do..good luck :)
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Hey, I am so sorry that this is happeneing to you. Trust me I know
How hard a breakup is. But you have to think about yourself here.
When he left to D.R. And messed around with someone he didn't
Care about you. He did what he needed to do to make himself
Happy then lied about it to you. That's pretty low!
I think you shod try and meet other guys. Go more often to the mall
Hang around with some friends. Or close family members trust me
That helps a lot. When me and my ex broke. up
I was extremly depressed. But I found that family and friends
Definetly help a lot in this situation. Plus you know he is
Using you just becuase he wants to have sex! Let that loser
Go. Its time you start thinking about yourself. You don't
Want to end up getting hurt again right?? You know the old sayingJ
Once a cheater always a cheater. And if he does want something
Serious with you he has to prove himself ! Anyway, I really suggest
You drop all contacts with this guy, he doesn't sound like
Good news. Good luck. - anny. F 18
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First and foremost, you should not just try to forget it and move on...You have to look at your situation and see what you have learned from it...it's what's going to help you as you do move on and move forward.
Ok, he lied, he played you and insulted your intelligence. It hurts like hell because you loved him. Now he wants to use you for sex and hide you from the parents. Do not sell yourself short. Say to yourself that you are better than this game. Look at him as someone that is not going to find his happiness soon while he tries to carry on this relationship with you and this other woman. I know that if you were to give in and go over and give him what he wants, you will regret, and yet have another pain to deal with. He would be the one to benefit from it and not you. You will suffer.
It is hard to pull out from under the covers and see the good things around you if you want to keep dwelling on what this unworthy person has done to you. You ultimately will have to 'choose' to do other things to help you move on. You wont forget what's happened because it will be listed as a learning experience when you look back at it one day.
Dont give up on love, it is out there...
I thought I was giving up on it from all the hell I went through with my horrible cheating and lying ex, but love found me unexpectedly, and from my exeriences, I was not afraid of letting love happen, I was able to welcome it.
Good luck as you grow from this experience!!
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