|
Most Teenage Guys Homophobic?
Have any of you guys noticed that most teenage guys are homophobic? My ex boyfriend was homophobic-ish. I couldn't stand it. For a numerous reasons... 1) my own step brother was gay (oh but still very attractive enough to make girls fall for him ha) 2) I hate judgmental people. 3) I just couldn't stand it PERIOD. He used it as an insult with his friends which is pretty stupid. So I was extremely worried that he would see my brother and be like going off on him and then dumping me blah blah. So why are teenage guys so homophobic? I mean my ex was 17 freaking years old and was pretty mature for his age but still.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
Razhie covered alot, but I'll give you a guys perspective on it (as someone who observed others who were like this)
Most commonly, its something they get from family or friends. Someone they know and care about or someone they want to respect them is homophobic and they adopt the attitude.
Insecurity plays a large part too, guys who are straight want to be seen as straight, and men are trained that being feminine in any way decreases your inherent masculinity, so guys will constantly overcompensate. You're not allowed to like a movie other guys think is in any way "girly" or to say or think things that let other guys make attacks on your masculinity, because part of overcompensation is ragging anyone less masculine than yourself (in your eyes) to make yourself feel like more of a man. Its pathetic, and juvenile, and very very common.
The same way girls will dress more for what other girls think than what guys think, because girls constantly judge other girls appearances and make judgements and social circles based on it, guys do the same with relative levels of masculinity.
Its why jocks are such an exclusive group usually. Its not because they hate everyone who doesn't play sports, its because playing sports is somehow inherent proof of masculinity and anyone who isn't part of the club threatens the manhood of the entire group simply by association. "Oh, this guy is less of a man because he doesn't take part in our physical activity, if we hang around him that means we're OK with guys who are not as masculine, which is a chick thing, so we're less masculine"
Bullshit like that. Its convoluted and mostly illogical, as someone who played sports and hung out with the overachievers, nerds, and other social rejects in high school it was an interesting and quite depressing experience. Watching guys I knew get in fights over perceived insults to their masculinity was always funny though.
]
Most teenage guys are deeply insecure in their sexuality.
Most teenagers, for better or worse, will tease and discriminate against anything that is different from their own peer groups 'normal'.
Finally, many teenage guys haven't had anyone turn to them in their life yet and say "Dude, that is NOT fucking cool. Get over it. Now."
A lot of people, guys and girls, will grow out of this stage of fear of those who are different. In the meantime, you should feel very free to help them along by speaking up when you feel what they have said is not tolerant. They might try to laugh it off, but change often just starts with one person, putting a little bit of doubt into another person's mind, that the way they are acting might not be okay. Even if you can't make them change their mind, you'll at least be able to make them change the way they act around you.
]
More Questions: |