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love/suicide/ family
my love life has been a total disaster im 18 years old and im an illegal immagrant, i got cheated on every relationship and i come to realize that i will never feel what real love is about, and what sucks the most is that i have no one to talk about this, my family is always against me and the only thing i do is go to my room and its quiet/boring as hell and im lonely. i do what everyone says to do on tv, "talk to god" but no response, i come to the point that i dont want to exist no more i just want to dissapear so all of this pain and lonelyness can go away.... should i commit suicide or just keep takin this pain to my heart?
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I feel the exact same way... but I feel guilty for feeling that way and I'm so sorry sweetheart but you should too.
It's not your fault for feeling that way... but you do have a lot of responsibility.
Firts of all... you are an illegal immigrant? Do you live int he United States? If you do you should be happy because there are so many illegal immigrants in 3rd world countries that have horrible lifes and face abuse and who want nothing more than to have a god childhood and an education and they want their children to have a better life but they don't get any of those things. They work. They are abused. They see their family memebrs starve. Sweetie, you are a lucky one and you have a purpose which you may not understand now but whatever you do, do not throw it away. I'm not trying to be a b**** trying to make you feel bad. I feel that exact same way all the time but sometimes it's good to remind ourselves onot only that there are worst things (and yes I know, jsut because there are worst things it doesn't make what we have good) but that you shouldn't throw away what you DO have.
Second of all... you got cheated on every relationship you ever had? If you keep dating the same type of guys maybe the problem is you. Maybe you are picking out the wrong kind of guys. Maybe you are rushing into things. Look sweetie, if you feel bad or sad or worthless right now then don't date. Your worth is the value you give yourself. If you ut yourself on the market now and for nothing, no one will argue or raise the price for you because everyone lvoes a good bargain, especially abusive men or guys who don't care about you. So focus on yourself... flirt and stuff but don't get into any relationship because it ost liekly won't be a healthy one because right now you are not in a mentally or emtionally healthy state and a bad relationship will make you feel worst so getting into a relationship right now would only be setting yourself up. And surround yourself with people who do care about you.
As for your family... try talking to them. Talk to your mom. Ask her about her childhood. Tell her about your day. Remember... our parents won't be around forever. And even if your mom seems agaisnt you, she does care about you and I'm sure she wants to talk.
You should also get a job or join a team or a cub or a sport. It willhelp you meet new people, distract yourself, and feel needed. Also, take up a hobby. Writing or playing an instrument. Find a healthy way to express yoursef.
Finally... the brst way to feel self-fulfilled is by helpingb others. Do some volutneering. It will serve to distract yourself. Tutor a child in a shelter or do art workshops in hospitals or help teach children with illnesses how to play a sport or play an instrument. It will make you feel better about yourself and more fulfilled and with a greater sense of purpose.
It definitely helped me.
I hope I was of help. If there is anything else I can do for you please drop me a message. I wish you happiness.
~<~@
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pain helps us grow. without pain there would be no compassion. and God does answer. sometimes the answer is no but He is there. find a church.... im a baptist and i love my church. so find a church or read a bible--- im a king james only girl---the bible is God talking to us.... find a safe hobby something that you like doing and honey all men are buttheads thats what we women get to deal with. but the reason were put through this is because when we finally find someone worth our time well appreciate it so much more
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