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i'm starting to get frusteratedd
hi i'm a junior. and my bf and i have been going out for a year and a half. I'm not ready for sex just yet , but whenever we go out he usually fingers me. BUT i don't feel pleasure at all, and it's really starting to bug me! What is wrong with my body? should i get it checked out?
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NO theres nothing wrong with you at all. not sexually not emotionally nothing is wrong with you. there not need to rush into sex or to start sexual exploring. the reason i say all of this is because you said something that i really believe that he should have already figured out...You are not ready...becasue you do not feel ready and most importantly of all you made that choice and i honestly belive you have made a good one. Try talking to him and let him know that you do not feel ready and that you dont want to do that anymore and you dont want him to do that to you either, theres many ways of expressing desire, although the term "expressing love" is used often i dont think its love if you dont feel love. I really think you should sit down with him and ask him why he likes to finger you? and whats his hope in fingering you..in other words whats his goal? is it to get you to give it to him? how does he feel about sex? how does he see your relationship? where does he sees you in his future? all of these questions are very important to help you see and understand not only why you dont feel comfortable in having sex but perhaps you just dont feel comfprtable with him touching your body. it could be many reasons maybe deep down insde you you feel that you really do not want it to happen this way and you have the right to choose how and when and with who you have sex. I have said this before SEX can ruin good relationships and lives and bring upon a great deal of heart ache, theres so much pressure about having sex that we feel that if we disagree in having sex then we are outlaws and the truth is that you really do have the right to say no im not ready and nobody should ever presure you into doing something that you are 1. not ready 2. do not 3. have decided (made your choice) not to.
Now think also for a moment this other angle if you do not feel pleasure with HIS finger ...what makes you think HIS penis will do better?
Now im not putting him down but what i really think is happening is that you dont really like t his idea of pleasure or love and his inttentions. GIRLS need to understand that no matter what you do let no man/guy/boy ever make you feel you need to do something or "else" if anyone ever threatens to tell everyone about how you let them "eat you" or "finger you" or Have sex or do oral sex...thats pathetic for someone to try to force you into a sexual positon. it tells you alot about how low and mean that person can be and a glimpse on to how much willing to hurt you he is willing to do. I really hope you do talk to him and let him know youre not ready..PERIOD and that you hope that his sexual desire/hunger is NOT larger than his love for you. make sure his love will always be there to understand, listen, care , respect and cherish your feelings thoughts and always your body. I hope this helps if it doesnt let me know
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every woman experiences some type of non pleasurable experience in her life. it may be that your boyfriend doesnt know what hes doing or that somewhere in your subconscience you just dont trust either yourself or him enough to completely relax. talk to your boyfriend... dont tell him hes incompetent just let him know that you think there may be something wrong with you because your not as "worked up" as you should be but make sure that you dont blame him. ask him to help you learn what you like or try to figure it out yourself. but key is not to think to much... if your worried about someone walking in on you then you may notbe as relaxed as you should be... hope i helped :)
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