|
should my feelings be hurt ?
hi ! i would like for you to help me with what may seem to some, a little silly.. well i have been seeing someone for almost 4 mo. now.. he is the most kind and loving man i have ever met and i know he loves me, my problem is that when i ask him how he felt about my 16 year old son he said " i think the world of him would do any thing for him , but i dont know him enough to love him.." i dont know if im right for feeling kinda hurt ??? should he have told me he did even tho he dosnt, ??? shouldnt he love him JUST because he's my son ?? or am i just being silly ?? my son and i have been alone for many years since my divorce.im an overly protective mom !! p.s. my boy friend has no children of his own.. hes 50 im 45 .. thanks !!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
it is a bit silly. i mean would you rather a man lie to you about the way he feels? a man shouldnt have to lie to you about he feels, we, as women get that enough so you should appreciate his honesty. and if your going to seriously consider spending the rest of your life with this man then maybe he and your son could get to know eachother better but try not to give your son a reason to get to close to him until your sure that he jsut wont walk out on the two of you. as a single overprotective mother myself i wont let my daughter meet someone unless i am sure they are going to stick around
]
It's only been 4 months.
You are being a bit silly expecting a man, who never had children, to love your son after only dating you for several months. It's understandable that you might be a bit annoyed by him not (because every mom thinks her son is completely lovable) but the truth is that at only 4 months it’s not emotionally responsible to be talking about love and ‘being a family’. That’s a ridiculous expectation to have of this old bachelor. He has no experience with that sort of love in his life and his relationship with your son doesn’t have strong enough roots to support that degree of affection and feeling!
If I were you, and I had a man, who after only 4 months of dating, thought the world of my son and would step up to help and assist my child, I’d be glowing with pride and joy! What a wonderful beginning! What great potential! I’d be proud of my son and my partner for making such a good start and laying a valuable foundation for a relationship between them.
Be grateful and respectful of what you have, and let things develop at a sensible pace. We all know, by watching the people around us, that you can’t turn someone into a parent overnight. Even the best of men take some time to warm up to the idea and to learn. Don’t push and demand someone love someone else “just ‘cause”, that reasoning has NEVER worked. If the man is good, let him be good, take pleasure in his honesty and goodness, and let him pursue those things that his own pace.
]
More Questions: |