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open relationship/space
i am usually working a lot so when I am off which is 2 days during the week and every other weekend i stay at my girlfriends house but I went yesterday to go see family for 2 hours and she got upset how can I tell her we need to be able to go see family or other friends without makin her mad? she even got mad because i had to go home before dark once to help my mom with something outside.
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She sounds like she always wants to spend all her time with you, and thats not fair. You have your own seperate life, as well as one with her. You can do what made me learn pretty quick with my one boyfriend, which would be to say "I want you, I DON'T need you. I will live without you,even though I won't want to, so if you don't let me go and do things on my own, I will be permanantly on my own." But then you will have to reassure her that you really do want her, its just you need some time for you friends too, and if she is going to keep getting mad about every little thing than she needs to find someone who will have no problem being stuck up her ass 24/7. As for my boyfriend who told me that, we get a long really great now whether its him going to the bar with his friends, going to his moms, or me going somewhere. She needs to have friends too. A lot of girls give up their friends and stuff to be available for their man all the time, every time. She needs to have her own life too. She has no right to get mad at you for wanting to do stuff without her. For christ's sake, if you were ever going to propose to her, you wouldnt be able to do it without her knowing about it with her head shoved so far up your ass like that. If she doesn't give you space to do things, she will end up losing you completely, leading to A LOT more space than she wanted you to have. If you have never done anything to make her mistrust you, then point that out. She needs to trust you to do whatever.
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If she is going to be upset because you spend 2 hours of your time off with family, she's being pretty selfish.
You simply tell her that while she is very important to you, so is your family, and so are your friends. That is something she needs to either accept about you or not. Tell her in no uncertain terms that if she can't accept that, you will just no longer spend your weekends or days off with her.
I know that probably sounds harsh, but you have to put your foot down on this or it will only get worse.
You could also haul her along on the visits. But I'd try it the other way first. If you think she will get mad and break up with you if you said that, then maybe this relationship isn't meant to be.
Good luck. :)
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