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I still miss her? :(
Well I'm 16 and a female, for my 7th, 8th and half of 9th grade I had a bestfriend...lets call her Max, well Max and I became friends in 7th we had one class togther and lunch, in class we never really spoke but then slowly around October she started speaking to me, then we later found out my friend June was her bestfriend. So the three of us hung out, Max and I got to know each other and what not. But then June moved away ad Max was horribly depressed. :/ Her grades even began to drop. Well her and I continued to hang until we eventually became bestfriends. I'd always go to her house, she'd go to mine, we were unseperable. Then 8th grade came we were just closer we'd tell each other everything there were no secrets. I'd never met someone like her she was funny and fun, and ugh I ended up crushing on her, but what ever. I never made my feelings known since moraly I was told it was wrong plus, I was scared that'd push her away. Our friendship wasn't worth it. But anyways once came freshman year, I got sick really bad and barely attended school. So we'd still talk on the phone online, she'd visit me and everything. But she began to change and distant herself. :[
When I returned to school I was very happy to see her and she acted like she was very happy to see me too, although she was cold toward me at times and I didn't know why. Then I found out she became friends with these two other girls, lets call them Terry and Petter. (._.)
Well I was friends with Terry since I knew her from one of my classes but Petter didn't like me she actually hated me, not sure why. I think cause my friend ummm...Lauren hated her and ugh so much drama. Well anyways, as the year went on I continued to be ill and switched into night school. Halloween came around and we still went trick-or-treating together with Lauren and Max and I. But I saw she was changing, she then gained a bf and I knew him too from another class, we'd talk she found it odd I think but never told me much. Well then summer came me and her stopped talking all together, I went to summer school and ran into Terry and Petter somehow Petter tried talking to me and well we became "friends" I guess. I don't know...well I'd hang with Terry and Petter alot, so then Lauren didn't like it since she was now my bestfriend basically, and well somehow I got them to speak to each other. Now Terry and Petter weren't friends with Max anymore, Petter hated Max actually now, they both told me and Lauren that Max would speak shit about us behind our backs.
I acted as if it didn't bother me, but infact it really did, like alot...I don't know why. :(
I just couldn't believe the horrible things she'd say about me, I was pissed off and very upset. Those 2 years when we were so close, what had happened?! I didn't get it, but what ever I justed tried to forget her. Then there was some drama when she came back this summer from Mexico, she found out Terry and Petter and Lauren and I were very close friends now. I don't think she liked it. >.>
So Terry stoped talking to Max and so did Petter, Idunno...I had deleted Max along time ago from my friends list and well, a month or so back she sent me request so I accepted we only spoke once, very briefly. So my question is, will I ever get over her? I miss her as my friend and nothing else, I know she's not into girls and I have a boyfriend so that's not an issue. But why can't I seem to forget her. I miss her very much, what should I do. I'm affraid to talk to her since she said she disliked me so much, basically...I'm lost.
She had changed alot when she began to hang with Terry and Petter, they got her to smoke weed and she just doesn't seem to be the same person.
Usually if someone changes and or distance themselves from me well I'm like what ever, their lost. But with her...I miss her, I feel like I lost something...Well there yah have it.
Sorry it's so long, and sorry for any typeos but I'm to lazy to check them :T
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
This is what you need to understand. Max was very close to June and allowed you to comfort her and you became her nurturer and companion and it started to feel almost like a relationship for you, a job. You were doing all the things for Max that a boyfriend would do for his girlfriend.
Then you distanced yourself from Max to keep from allowing her to know your true feelings and that led you to stay home and only communicate through internet and phone.
What happened after that is that Max healed from the loss of June and started interacting with people she considered friends. You weren't needed anymore and her true feelings towards you came out.
Terry already knew you and liked you thats why she excepted you but Petter didnt and took Max words to be the true person you were without knowing you. So even though you werent all those things Max said you were Petter only knew you as the horrible things Max said.
So now that you, Terry, Petter and Lauren are truly friends and Max is back she wants to pick up where she left off and its not going to work. Her deceit has left her in a position where everyone has now seen her true colors and she is where she needs to be and thats out of the picture.
You need to stay with your boyfriend, your wonderful, genuine friends and let Max move on.She no longer fits in your life.
Also no one can make Max smoke weed. Its a choice, she chose to do it. She chose to use you for comfort to get over losing Junes friendship and she chose to talk about you and say horrible things behind your back to ensure that people wouldnt like you.
Honestly you have a difficult time letting go because of the nurturing you shared with this friend. You took care of her and bonded with her thinking that she was your friend. But its time to let go and move on. We dont always win in all situations. Atleast you can say you were a wonderful friend that did a good dead and God will repay you.
Good luck and dont feel sorry for someone that has self induced misery...Max is not a friend
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First of all this is not your fault, When people get older and they start to enter high school almost everyone changes in one way or another. It sounds like your friend is hanging with the wrong crowd and we don't always realize it but our friends also play a part in who we are and how we act. You said that your friend is smoking weed, Weed has it's downfall and it effects different people in different ways.
Here are some of the causes from marijuana
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I know you don't want to hear it but I think you need to make new friends.
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